The Hokage Files
by SSJ2 PikaFlash
Summary: In the final chapter of the NaruHina fic known as The Hokage Files, the painting of the Hokage Building is finally finished, while Naruto unveils a controversal painting and Hinata vents her anger on the most perverted man alive. [Complete]
1. The Beginning

Naruto and Hinata were having lunch at Ichiraku's Ramen. Naruto is wearing his Hokage robes.

"Nothing beats having Ichiraku's Ramen for lunch," said Naruto, after finishing his Ramen.

Hinata looks at the clock behind Ayame. "I think you should get back to work." Hinata was about to reach into her jacket pocket when Naruto stopped her.

"Don't worry; this is my treat, Hinata-chan."

Naruto tries to get up to take out his frog purse but Hinata was sitting on a part of Naruto's oversized robe. Naruto forcefully pulls the robe, causing Hinata to fall off her chair.

* * *

_**From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings...**_

**The Hokage Files **

_01: The Beginning _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

* * *

Naruto and Hinata were on their way to the top floor of the Hokage building, where Naruto's office is. Naruto sniffs Hinata's neck. 

"You smell nice, Hinata."

Hinata blushed. "Not now, Naruto-kun."

Naruto and Hinata walked into Naruto's office, where two Genins were painting the walls and wires are everywhere.

"I gave you two all morning to add the second layer of paint to my office and it's still not done! If you don't get my office done by today, you're not going to get within a 5 mile radius near my twin daughters!"

The Genins looked at the Hokage. "Yes, Hokage-sama," said the two Genins as they painted the walls of the office.

"Consider yourself lucky that I did not give you the job of debt collecting, since Moegi is doing that for me."

* * *

In a dark room, Moegi was crying as she writes up the bill for a recent job completed by a Genin team.

* * *

Naruto looks around his office. "Where is Lee? I asked him to set up the computers because he claims that he can set up our computer network."

* * *

Outside, Lee was showing off some wires from the back of Shizune's computer. 

"And this is a USB port," explained Lee.

Hinata walked to Shizune and Lee. "Lee, I think you'd better hide before Naruto sees you."

"I'll go distract him." Shizune walks towards Naruto's office as Lee climbs up a ladder up to the ceiling where wires were hanging out.

* * *

Shizune entered Naruto's office, which is in the middle of being painted. "Naruto, we got a problem." 

"I'm on my way." Naruto stood up and accidentally kicked a chair. "I hate this stupid hat," mumbled Naruto as he removed the red Hokage's hat.

Naruto followed Shizune to a locked room with someone crying inside.

"What's wrong with Moegi?" asked Naruto.

"I don't know," said Shizune. "She's been like that for a week."

"A week? I didn't know she could last a week in there."

"Maybe we didn't give her enough work," said Shizune.

Naruto held out his hand. "Give me the key."

"I've already unlocked it."

"I know," said Naruto. "I want to relock it. Don't want her wandering around when she still have work to do."

* * *

In the locked dark room, Moegi was crying as she writes up the bill for another job.

* * *

Iruka was in Naruto's office when Naruto walked in. 

"Iruka-sensei!"

"Naruto, there's no need for such formality. You're the Hokage," said Iruka.

"I know, but you're an important person who helped me become the Hokage, Iruka-sensei," said Naruto. "Anyway, what brings you here?"

"Konohamaru asked me if you know where Moegi is," said Iruka.

"Oh, Moegi is helping me with some paperwork. I think she'll be finished before the end of the day…"

* * *

Back in the locked dark room, Moegi was still crying as she puts the second notice of an unpaid bill into an envelope.

* * *

As Iruka closed the door to Naruto's office, he noticed that the handle has been recently painted by the two Genins. 

"I need to wash my hands," Iruka said to himself.

Meanwhile, the two Genins were having a drink instead of painting the walls as they watch Lee explain to Shizune about the new computer system in the Hokage building.

"That's fascinating," said Shizune, listening to Lee's explanation.

"So you see, Shizune. It's only a matter of whether you want the Intranet or the Ethernet," explained Lee. "For example, this wire connects to the Hokage's computer." Lee pulls the wire...

* * *

**Konoha** **Hospital**

Sakura was in her office speaking to Ino on the phone.

"That's right, Ino. Those flowers need to be at my house by..."

Suddenly, Sakura's computer was pulled to the floor, making a loud crash.

"I think I have to call you back, Ino," said Sakura. "My computer has just crashed."

* * *

In Naruto's office, Naruto was typing upalist on a laptop as a computer cable was pulling the laptop away from Naruto. Naruto pushes the laptop back in front of him, followed by a bell sound. 

"What are you doing to Moegi?"

Naruto looks at Hinata. "What are you talking about?"

"You've locked her in that dark room for a week and Konohamaru's getting worried," said Hinata.

Naruto pushed his laptop back in front of him. "Well, someone has to do some of the paperwork and I'm busy with my own."

"Couldn't you give me some to help you with?"

Hinata notices that Naruto's laptop is slowly moving off the table as Naruto types and every time Naruto pushes his laptop back, a bell rings.

"Why does your computer sound like a typewriter?" asked Hinata.

* * *

Outside Naruto's office, Sakura pressed a bell on Shizune's desk in intervals while carrying the remains of her crashed computer. 

"Excuse me, Lee! I got a computer problem!" yelled Sakura.

* * *

Suddenly, Naruto's laptop flew off the table and ends up flying to a plug socket. Then, the laptop was pulled up the ceiling, followed by a crash outside. 

Naruto and Hinata opened the door to Naruto's office to see Lee hanging on wires from the ceiling, with Shizune and Sakura watching the scene.

"A little help here," asked Lee.

**01 End **

* * *

**Original Characters: **

Garu Inuzuka (Kiba's son, given the E-rank mission on repainting the Hokage's office building if he wants to date Naruto's daughter)

Shirai Aburame (Shino's son, given the E-rank mission on repainting the Hokage's office building if he wants to date Naruto's daughter)


	2. The Icha Icha Disaster

Naruto was at his desk in the Hokage building.

"Hello. I'm Naruto Uzumaki breaking the fourth fanfiction wall and you're reading the Hokage Files. As you know, the author has been trying to make fanfics that can be read by everyone, including those who are only allowed to read the **K** rated fanfics and maybe the K plus fanfics so that it can be read by everyone in the family. Unfortunately, we couldn't do that thanks to that Ero-Sennin. So, if you have any complaints, send them to _jiraiya(at)ichaicha(dot)com(dot)jp_. Just to repeat that, send your complaints to _jiraiya(at)ichaicha(dot)com(dot)jp_. Now, on to the fanfic."

* * *

At a meeting room, the Sixth Hokage is in a meeting with the Fifth Kazekage over this year's Chunin Exams. In the meeting are an ANBU member, the Hokage's strategist, the Kazekage's brother, the Kazekage's sister, the Kazekage's Brother-In-Law, and the Kazekage's niece. 

"Gaara, I must warn you that this year, the Forest of Death has changed this year."

"What's the problem?"

"Well, two Jonins had a fight in the forest and the battle caused the landscape to change. We had to make sure the Chunin exams are not coming this way because we need time for the trees to re-grow," explained Naruto. "But not to worry. The forest will be ready for this year's Chunin exams."

"That's good to hear..." Gaara stands up. Naruto tries to get off his chair, but the **ANBU** sitting next to him was sitting on his robe. Naruto forcefully pulls the robe from under the **ANBU**, causing the **ANBU** to fall off his chair. Naruto got up and shook hands with Gaara.

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... 

**The Hokage Files **

_02: The Icha Icha Disaster _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

* * *

Later, at the Hokage building... 

Inuzuka Garu and Aburame Shirai were slowly painting the ceiling when Naruto looked up as he walked along the hallway.

"Is it just me or was there less paint than what I saw yesterday?" asked Naruto.

"Yes," said Garu.

Naruto looks at the Inuzuka boy. "Yes what?"

"Errr...yes, Hokage-sama."

Naruto sighed and walked back into his office. Kakashi was already inside, catching Naruto off guard.

"Kakashi-sensei! Can't you wait outside my office if I'm not there?"

"Sorry, Hokage-sama. But I got an urgent problem," said Kakashi. "Jiraiya didn't give me the limited edition Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover. So, I need you to help me get one from the bookshop."

Naruto looked at Kakashi. "What? You're asking the Hokage to get you a magazine that you won't find me getting from a bookshop!"

"Well, you did give me a mission but Jiraiya forgot to give me my advance copy, you're going to have to get it since I won't be here when it comes out in the bookshop today...so..."

* * *

**Konoha Bookshop **

Naruto walks into the bookshop in his regular outfit of an orange jacket, orange pants and a lame disguise of an orange cap with the Konoha symbol. He has no intention of talking to the Super Pervert, if he could find him, so he decided to do the next best thing.

Naruto found the limited edition Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover and walked to the counter.

"I'm buying this one for a friend," said Naruto.

The shopkeeper looked at the book. "Well, it's the limited edition Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover. I'll go wrap it up so that...you know." The shopkeeper walked in the backroom to wrap the book. As Naruto waited, he didn't notice that three male dark-haired Jonins who happen to be walking into the bookshop at the same time and saw what Naruto bought.

"Uh oh," said the trio. Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru made a U-turn out of the bookshop and walked off in different directions.

* * *

Naruto returned to his house to hide the book somewhere. Luckily for him, his wife is at the Hokage building, his eldest son is on a short bodyguard mission for **ANBU** and his two twins daughters are certainly nowhere near home. 

"Now, to hide this book for Kakashi-sensei."

"No...this place would be too busy."

"Maybe here. Nah. If Hinata opens this, she'll kill me."

"Ah...this is perfect."

* * *

Back at the Hokage building, Lee was helping Shizune with the setup of her computer. Garu and Shirai were looking up at the ceiling instead of doing the job the Hokage has given them to do. 

"Is it supposed to be in French?" asked Shizune.

Lee looks at Shizune's computer. "You don't want it?"

"I like it," said Shizune. "But Hokage-sama prefers that the words are in Japanese...or at least Engrish."

Lee picks up a computer manual. "Right, first you need to..." Lee looks up and quickly hits the wall to open a panel revealing a secret compartment full of cables and Lee quickly hides inside. At that moment, Naruto enters the room.

"Any messages for me, Shizune?"

Shizune points at an empty tray.

"That's a surprise," said Naruto. "Usually, I would get a lot of paperwork that would be almost as tall as Konohamaru's room. Now that I think about it, I should give him some more work and say that it's a part of the training to be a Hokage."

* * *

Where Konohamaru is, poor Konohamaru saw the huge stack of paperwork he has to do if he wants to be the next potential Hokage. 

"This wasn't part of being a Hokage," said Konohamaru.

* * *

"Oh, and Jiraiya was in your office half an hour ago," added Shizune. 

Naruto looked at the Jonin. "Did Jiraiya say anything?"

"I didn't speak to him, but I did hear him mention about leaving a few advance copies of his book in your office since he forgot to give Kakashi his. Followed by Kakashi and a few of your friends just barging into your office and walking out with Jiraiya's books."

_'Shit...'_ thought Naruto.

"Fortunately, the box was empty by the time they all left, so Hinata won't know that it was even there." assured Shizune. "Anyway, where were you?"

Naruto looks around. "Well..."

* * *

**Earlier... **

Naruto was lying down on a psychiatrist chair.

"So you see, being the Hokage isn't what you think," finished Naruto.

"And you're afraid to see your wife when you go back to work."

"Yes," answered Naruto.

"Well, I can understand why you came to my family's flower shop in the first place if you want to hide from your wife, but if you want to speak out your personal problems to me, you're gonna have to wait until I become a Chunin," said the blonde boy sitting at the counter. "I'm still a Genin and I don't think I'm qualified enough to be acting like your psychiatrist."

Naruto looked at the boy. "But Iruka-sensei said that your knowledge of the human mind surpasses even that of your mother's when she was your age, Inoryou. And not to mention that you got Shikamaru's genius..."

Inoryou put his hands on his forehead_. 'I wish mom would hurry up and kick Hokage-sama out. That chair is for paying customers who want aromatherapy.'_ Inoryou looked at Naruto. "If you want to continue lying down on that chair, could you at least buy some flowers for your wife, Hokage-sama? I can even recommend you some."

_'Now I know how dad feels dealing with the Hokage. He really is troublesome.' _

* * *

Meanwhile, Konoha's strategist was playing a game of Go in his office. Shikamaru sneezed. 

"Someone must be thinking about you," said Shikamaru's opponent.

At that moment, Kakashi opened the door to Shikamaru's office.

"Hey, Shikamaru. Have you seen Naruto?" asked Kakashi.

Shikamaru didn't look up from the Go board. "I did see him at the bookshop earlier. Why?"

"Well, I asked him if he could get me a copy of the latest Icha Icha paradise with the shiny cover when I found an advance issue in Naruto's office. You should get one too. There's a whole box in Naruto's office. In fact, only Naruto's office has the limited edition with an autograph."

"Really?" said Shikamaru, without looking up.

"Yeah. Well, I'm off on my mission. Tell the others the great news."

"Oh, I will," said Shikamaru. Shikamaru returned to his game. "Let's call this one a draw. I got to send a message to a few people after this, Shikami," Shikamaru said to his daughter. "And don't tell your mom about what Kakashi-sensei told me. Otherwise...I probably won't be able to play Shogi or Go for a while," whispered Shikamaru.

"I won't tell if you won't tell Mom that I was hiding here," replied Shikami.

* * *

**That Night... **

Naruto was in the bathroom brushing his teeth as Hinata reads a book.

"Naruto-kun. How do you feel if I were to spice up our marriage?" asked Hinata.

Naruto stopped brushing his teeth. "What?"

"I want you to look at me and picture what you want me to be...in your own mind..."

Naruto pictured what he wanted to see in Hinata...

* * *

**Naruto's wild imagination **

Hinata was on the bed on all fours, giving a seductive growl at Naruto as her PJ's were down to her shoulders...

* * *

Naruto snapped back to reality so that we can prevent the fanfic rating from going any higher than **T** and resumed brushing his teeth. 'Damn fox...' 

"What gave you idea?" asked Naruto

"It was something I found under your pillow," called out Hinata.

"What is it, Hinata-chan?"

"It's a copy of Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover. Care to explain it?"

Naruto had to think fast. "It's meant to be for Kakashi-sensei."

"I see," replied Hinata. "But would you like to explain this scene on page 132?

Naruto walked out of the bathroom and took the book from Hinata.

"Let's see. Blonde man, blue-haired wife, Snow Country...hang on...I remember this from our last holiday..."

* * *

Kakashi was resting on a tree while reading the latest Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover when he hears a familiar yell coming from the direction of the village. 

**"ERO-SENNIN!" **

**02 End **

* * *

**Original Characters:**

**Nara**** Inoryou **(Shikamaru and Ino's son. Whenever he's not on missions, he hangs round the Yamanaka Flowershop trying to figure out the mysteries of the human mind.)

**Nara**** Shikami** (Shikamaru and Ino's Daughter. Older than her brother by a year, she tries her best to avoid doing anything but play any type of strategic board games with her father without her mother knowing. She was held back a year in the academy because she slept through the final exam.)


	3. The Random Affairs

Naruto and Hinata were at Ichiraku's Ramen.

"Usually I would think on my feet that quickly..."

Hinata smiled. "That's why I married you. After all, they said they thought our marriage would fail."

"Who?"

"Well, my Mom and Dad, Hanabi, Neji, Tenten, our friends, our children. I even thought I saw Tsunade-sama sniggering with Shizune after the wedding."

"Did they?" Naruto laughed. "I'm sure that after 20 years of marriage, we have a very strong bond."

At that moment, a tourist _(who happens to be a small yellow mouse)_ sat next to Naruto and puts a Ramen coupon on the counter. "One Ramen please," said the mouse. Naruto and Hinata looked at the yellow mouse.

"Hello," greeted the mouse.

"I'm not racist," said Naruto.

The yellow mouse was confused. "Pika?"

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... 

**The Hokage Files **

_03: The Random Affairs _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

* * *

Naruto and Hinata were in a meeting room with Iruka and Anko. Hinata was surprised. 

"But you can't divorce. We were the ones who got you together. You've been together for at least 15 years."

Anko smiled and assured Hinata. "But, Hinata. It was for the best. We just thought that it's been enough."

"We need someone who could help us through the divorce process," said Iruka. "I mean, you two were my students and I thought it would mean a lot for us if you could help."

Hinata looks at her husband. "Well..."

Naruto sees Shizune. "Has Lee put those computers up yet?" asked Naruto.

"Lee said that he's trying to get them to speak to each other," said Shizune.

Naruto was confused. "I didn't know our computers had an argument."

* * *

Back at the Uzumaki Household, Hinata was filing her nails as Naruto puts on his usual orange jacket and pants. 

"Don't you have much nicer clothes to wear?" asked Hinata. "I mean, tonight, our son is bringing his first girlfriend over for dinner and I'm sure you would like to leave a good impression on her since you're the Hokage."

"I find this very comfortable," said Naruto. "Besides, I'm just going down to the supermarket to buy some wine." said Naruto as he puts a cap on his head in an attempt to disguise himself. "Is there anything you need?"

"I am almost out of pumice."

"Then, I'll pass by the volcano on the way back," said Naruto.

"And we need some bread. And milk. And some cotton buds...in fact, take your Cell phone," Hinata said as Naruto walks out of the bedroom door.

Naruto looked at his wife. "Look, Hinata-chan, I am perfectly capable of remembering what groceries we need. I don't need a cell phone to rob me of my dignity."

* * *

At the supermarket, Naruto was pushing a trolley and speaking into his cell phone in the other hand. 

"Where is it?" asked Naruto as he looks through the shelves. "Oh, there it is."

At that moment, Iruka and Ayame walked past Naruto. "Hang on. Hinata, you'd never guess who I saw at the supermarket."

_"Who, that Ero-sennin?"_ asked Hinata on the other end

"No, it's Iruka-sensei and Ayame-chan from Ichiraku's."

_"What? Are you sure?"_ asked Hinata at the other end.

Naruto walks out of the aisle and sees Iruka buying toothbrush with his new girlfriend. "Yep. It is Ayame-chan with Iruka-sensei. And they're buying toothbrushes."

_"I thought Anko-sensei said that they aren't seeing anyone,"_ said Hinata. _"That bastard! Wait I tell Anko..."_

* * *

In the Uzumaki household living room, Hinata and Naruto were waiting for their son and his girlfriend. 

"You can't tell Anko," said Naruto. "He was my sensei..."

"_**Our**_ sensei," corrected Hinata. "We were in the same year in the Academy, Naruto-kun."

"I know, but if Ayame-chan is involved..."

Hinata avoided Naruto's look. "If you don't confront Iruka-sensei about it, I will."

"But, Hinata-chan..."

"Naruto-kun...that look won't work on me this time." Hinata tries her best to avoid Naruto's face. Clearly, Naruto knows how to soften Hinata's heart and make her change her decision. Hinata smiled and looked at Naruto. "You win this time, Naruto-kun. I won't tell Anko but you got to talk to Iruka-sensei."

Hinata and Naruto resumed waiting. "Are you nervous, Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata.

"A bit." Naruto looks around. "Once she's here, maybe you could cause a distraction while I go gather some background information on the girl."

Hinata sighed. "Why do such a thing when she's coming here? Besides, it's a rare chance to have a meal with our son Yuki, since our twin girls are on missions."

"Good point. I had a bit of trouble trying to replace Garu and Shirai...but luckily, I found some temps to replace those two anyway."

"Now that you mention it, if Shirai and Garu are not painting the building at this time, who is painting the building?" asked Hinata.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Hokage Building... 

Former assistants of the fifth Hokage, Kotetsu and Izumo, were painting the hallways of the Hokage Building.

"I don't understand why Hokage-sama asked us to do this," said Izumo.

"I heard that the two Genins that were supposed to paint the building have been sent on a mission, so Hokage-sama had to urgently asked us to continue their job until they come back," explained Kotetsu.

Izumo sighed. "We'll never get this building painted by the time those two come back." He looks at the walls that have already been painted.

"Is it just me or was that supposed to be orange?"

Both Kotetsu and Izumo looked at the green paint on their paintbrushes. "Uh-oh..."

* * *

The doorbell rang. Naruto opened the door to reveal a pink-haired teenager with green eyes. 

"Hello..." greeted the pink-haired girl.

"Setsuna? What are you doing here?" asked Naruto.

"Yuki told me to come here," explained Setsuna. "Here he is."

A blue-haired teenager with white eyes and whisker-like marks on his cheeks walked to the door, where his father, mother and girlfriend were waiting. "Dad, Mom. This is my girlfriend, Uchiha Setsuna."

Naruto looked at his wife. That was a surprise. "Please come in, Setsuna," greeted Hinata. "Yuki, would you take Setsuna to the living room while I get the drinks."

Naruto followed Hinata to the kitchen.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" asked Hinata.

Naruto points outside the kitchen. "He's dating Sasuke's daughter?"

"Is there a problem? Those two have known each other since they were toddlers, Naruto-kun."

Naruto shakes his head. "No, if Sasuke finds out, he will kill me first before he kills Yuki."

"I'm sure Sakura-chan will keep Sasuke on a leash." Hinata smiled. "I'm sure she'll be happy to know that her daughter is with someone she knows very well." Hinata walks out of the kitchen. "Keep an eye on the stew!"

"I will, Hinata-chan!"

* * *

Hinata walked into the living room with the drinks. She sits next to Yuki and Setsuna. 

"So...what made you choose to tell us today?" asked Hinata.

Yuki grinned the same way his father does. "Well..."

* * *

**Flashback**

Shizune walked into the Jonin Lounge, not noticing a white handprint on the back of her Jonin Vest.

"Finally, got that damn mission done. I hope that this is the last mission I'm doing that involves debt payment for Tsunade-sama..."

Shizune sees a pink-haired Jonin having a kiss on the couch with a dark blue-haired Jonin.

"Oh, you two..."

The two Jonins looked up. "Shizune-sensei! Since when did you get back?" asked Yuki.

"Just today," answered Shizune. "You know, I can't keep your relationship a secret. Sooner or later, you two will have to tell your parents."

"Well, my dad isn't a problem...it's hers." Yuki points at his girlfriend. "Not to mention that her dad is our superior in **ANBU**. So..."

"Oh yeah. I'm sure Sasuke values his daughter more than one of his two best **ANBU**s, especially when his daughter is one of those two **ANBU**s."

The two Jonins/**ANBU**s looked at each other. "She's right, you know," said Setsuna. "We should tell my dad or he'll really send you on a mission so dangerous that we might never see each other again if we continue to keep it a secret.

"It shouldn't be so bad, considering what my dad would do to my sister's teammates."

* * *

**Presently **

"Anyway, what's cooking?"

Yuki and Hinata smell the air. "Mom, did you ask dad to keep an eye on the food?" asked Yuki.

Hinata suddenly remembered the stew in the kitchen. "Uh-oh."

Hinata runs to the kitchen to see the kitchen on fire.

Naruto looked at his wife. "I wanted to try a bit of the stew, Hinata-chan…"

Back in the living room...

"Setsuna...do you know any water-based Jutsus?" asked Yuki.

* * *

**The Next Morning **

Shizune and Hinata were eating cornflakes in Hinata's office (because of the previous night's kitchen stunt) when Iruka and Anko walked into Hinata's office.

"I got some great news...Anko's pregnant," announced Iruka.

"That's great news!" said Shizune. "I'll go tell Naruto about it."

Shizune leaves the office.

"And we decided to give our marriage another chance," said Anko.

"I think I'll go get some coffee." Iruka leaves the office. Once Iruka is gone, Anko whispered to Hinata.

"But the thing is...I don't even know if the baby is Iruka-kun's. You see...I've been seeing Genma and...you know."

"Right...could you wait here for a bit? I need to pass something to Naruto-kun." Hinata stood up and runs out of the office.

* * *

**Lunchtime at Ichiraku's **

Naruto, Hinata, Yuki, Setsuna, Anko and Iruka and the Pikachu from the first scene were having lunch.

"Sorry about last night," said Naruto. "But I wanted to make up for burning dinner and at the same time, celebrate the occasion for Iruka-sensei's new baby by treating all of you to lunch."

Hinata sees the Pikachu. "Excuse me, but why are you here?"

"Me?" said the Pikachu. "I was suppose to do a tour to promote the new season of Pocket Monsters, but my tour guide got fired somewhere along the way so I'm waiting for the replacement that is being sent by **TokyoTV**. And not to mention that my Seiyuu is pregnant and I had to talk to Konohamaru about replacements because luckily for me, my dialogue has been prerecorded for at least seven to eight seasons. Unlike poor Konohamaru, who won't have a Seiyuu until the pregnancy is over...so there'll be a bit more Anime Fillers without Konohamaru to buy some time until they can get Konohamaru's Seiyuu back or...maybe a replacement. Besides, most fanfics would work well if we use dub jokes because most of the readers can read English."

The other characters has no idea what the long winded speech the Pikachu made meant.

"Erm...yeah. Whatever," said Naruto. "And I'm not racist."

"Pika?"

**End of 03 **

* * *

**Author's Note:** That long winded speech Pikachu made is a reference on Konohamaru and Pikachu's Japanese Voice Actress, Ikue Otani, who happens to be on pregnancy leave since January 2006, which might add a little delay and a reason to add more fillers as someone has to voice Konohamaru during after the time skip in Naruto. And there might be a possibility that they might show some filler episodes in between the time skip before Kakashi Gaiden like they did in Dragonball Z (_COUGHOtherworldtournamentsagaCOUGH_). Anyway, that's just a rant I decided to put up because of the endless line of Anime fillers. 

**Original Characters: **

**Uchiha Setsuna** (Daughter of Sasuke and Sakura. She looks a lot like her mother with pink hair and green eyes...but she does have the Sharingan. A potential daughter-in-law for Naruto and it's something Sasuke is not going to be happy about. She's a member of ANBU and a Jonin.)

**Uzumaki Yuki** (Son of Naruto and Hinata. He has the Byakugan and his mother's blue hair. A Jonin and an ANBU member.)

* * *

**Bonus: A New Fanfic Preview: (Not the next chapter preview)**

Shikamaru was standing outside a shoe shop with a microphone.

"Shoes," said Shikamaru. "Shoes are nothing much as they follow you like shadows...even if they are at your feet."

Sakura runs out of the store.

"No no no, Shikamaru," said Sakura.

"What!" asked an annoyed Shikamaru through the microphone.

Sakura pushed down Shikamaru's microphone.

"You got to be more aggressive in competition. Do the hard sell. You got to target people," explained Sakura.

Shikamaru nods. "Ok."

As Sakura returns the shop, Shikamaru looks around and sees Ino walking by.

"Get in here, you fat pig!" yelled Shikamaru.

Sakura runs out of the store in shock.


	4. The Exchange

Radio: _"The Naked Country. Nude and uncompromising. People scurrying around like ants, walking and taking public transport to their tall buildings, making chambers around them from their own spit. It could be any country, but it's this one. But apart from carrying food stuff that is almost ten times their size, the ant differs from the human in one important perspective...these humans have no concept for simple charity. So convince your friends, family and boss..."_

* * *

In the Hokage Building, Garu, Shirai and Shizune were listening to the radio instead of doing their jobs. 

"It's quite true, you know," said Shirai.

Shizune switches to another radio station. "Alright, back to work."

Radio: _"Yo yo yo! You're listening to **HINA FM**!" _

* * *

Gai walks into Naruto's office. 

"I need your help, Hokage-sama."

Naruto looks up from his desk. "What is it, Gai?"

"I've sent my pilot of my new TV series to **KonohaTV**. They told me that they have got a guy with his own production company to handle the distribution."

Naruto was distracted, but listening. "That's good for you. What does this have to do with me?" asked Naruto.

"The guy they're sending...it's his first time here," explained Gai. "So...could you send someone to the Wave Country Port to get him while I go get myself ready? I sent my best Green suit to the dry cleaners and I need to get it."

Naruto looked at Gai and sighed. "I'll send someone...just give me the arrival time and you go do what you need to do."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama!"

"Now go, while I try to figure out who to send. Maybe Lee, since he should be done with the building's computer system by now."

As Gai leaves the room, Naruto tries to get his computer working. Seems like Lee didn't complete his mission of setting up the computer system as he claimed he could.

"Dammit, Lee. I don't think you deserve this mission that you'll definitely love. I'll send someone else."

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... 

**The Hokage Files **

_04: The Exchange _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

**Note:** Just in case some readers do not know what a _Seiyuu_ is, it is a Japanese Voice Actor. I used _Seiyuu_ instead of voice actor in Chapter 3 because it would lead to mass confusion and an email explosion in my inbox.

* * *

"You did what!" 

Lee was in Naruto's office.

"I had to, Lee. You still have a lot of fixing up to do. You said that you could get this system up and ready a month ago and it's still not up and ready."

Lee looked disappointed. It looks like fate has prevented him to ensure to fulfill Gai's request.

"Don't look so down, I did send someone who would be willing to do this mission. Her team is on their way there."

"You mean..."

Naruto smiled. "Yep."

Lee immediately became emotional and the background of a rising sun replaces Naruto's office. Naruto had to quickly put on a pair of sunglasses.

"My little green bird will certainly do me proud! Gai-sensei...there's no need to fear."

* * *

On the way to Wave Country, a girl wearing green leg warmers while leading her Genin team to Wave Country. This Genin team consists of the Nara Siblings, Shikami and Inoryou with their best friend, Akimichi Chohi. 

"Come on, my students! If we meet up with Gai-sensei's guest quickly, we will certainly get the admiration he would give to my father!"

"But, Miyabi-sensei," said Shikami. "What if something goes wrong?"

The Jonin rubbed her chin. "Well...we will make sure nothing goes wrong."

* * *

A black-haired _(with pink streaks)_ Genin walked into Naruto's office carrying a balloon with a face on it and a capsicum spray. 

"Hokage-sama! I heard that a **VIP** is coming to the village, so I'm wondering if I could get a mission, since I need to do something to impress my dad."

Naruto looked up from his desk. "Really? What have you got to show me, Chi?

The Genin shows Naruto the capsicum spray. "Well, if anyone wants to attack the VIP, I could incapacitate the offender by spraying this combination of capsicum and wasabi onto his face. For example, when I use it on this balloon..."

Unfortunately, Chi wasn't looking at where the nozzle of the spray is and ended up spraying the burning mixture into his own face.

"Ahhhh! Mom! I want my mom!"

"Good idea...I'll go get her." Naruto picked up his cell phone and recorded Chi's screams. "But first, I need to record your screams for my cell phone's new ring tone. I'll want something way better than that stupid Crazy Frog."

* * *

Naruto walked into Hinata's office. 

"Hinata-chan, could you advise me on how to sack Lee from his role as computer technician?"

Hinata looked at her husband. "Excuse me? You were the one who hired him. I suggested that Tenten was a much better choice."

"I know..." Naruto looks around and picks up Hinata's make up kit. "But it's just that Tenten has bigger breasts and I didn't want you to accuse me of asking for her help for the wrong reasons..." Naruto looks at the mirror in the kit and powder his face. "Not that I would be interested that at all, but I wouldn't want you to make my life unbearable." Naruto looks into the mirror and watched the scene outside Hinata's office where Garu and Shirai were just stirring a bucket of paint.

"I can think of other reasons why I want to make your life unbearable," mumbled Hinata as she does her work.

"Are those idiots going to paint or not?" Naruto mumbled to himself.

"So, you choose Lee over my cousin-in-law because you didn't want to look sexist," said Hinata.

"Yeah," Naruto looked outside. "How long did we have Lee? 6 Months?"

"No...7 months," corrected Hinata.

"Really?" Naruto finished powdering his face. "How do I look, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata smiled. "You look lovely." Hinata looked at Naruto's body.

"Have you put on weight, Naruto-kun?"

"No...I think it's just the robes," said Naruto.

Naruto walk out of the office, passing by the Genin painters, Garu and Shirai, who were watching Sakura administering eye drops into her son's eyes.

* * *

Once Naruto returned to his office, Shizune appeared at the door. 

"Naruto, there's an urgent phone call from Jiraiya."

Naruto picks up the phone.

"This is Naruto..."

* * *

**Sunagakure Prison **

Jiraiya was standing next to the prison phone.

"Hey, Naruto! I got a problem!"

**An explanation later **

"So, you're think you can get me out?" asked Jiraiya

* * *

Back in Konoha, Naruto looks outside his window to see a sparrow. 

_'Damn you, Neji for giving Jiraiya a chance to get out with your caged bird story.' _

"Yeah," said Naruto. "I'll have a word with the Blonde Liaisontrix. Her daughter was one of my Genin students. And no, I did not treat her like the way you treated your female Genin student."

Naruto puts the phone down. Shizune and Moegi were watching Naruto.

"Excellent! I want you two to see how a master negotiator works," announced Naruto as he dialed some numbers on his office phone.

* * *

On the streets of Konoha, Temari receives a phone call. "Hello?"

* * *

"Temari! It's me...Naruto." 

No answer.

"Uzumaki. Your daughter was one of my Genin students."

Still no answer.

"The 6th Hokage."

_Temari: "I know. What do you want?" _

Naruto covers the receiver and looks at Shizune. "Let me tell you. She can be a bit of a bitch at times, you know?"

"Naruto, you forgot that you are on speaker phone," said Shizune.

"Oh shit!" Naruto randomly pressed a button on his phone. "Was that the hold button?"

* * *

**ANBU Aoi (Blue) HQ **

The commander of **ANBU** Blue, Sasuke Uchiha, received a phone call.

"Hello?"

* * *

"Hello?" Temari looked at her cell phone.

* * *

"Hello? Who the hell is this!" yelled Naruto. 

Shizune shakes her head and presses the correct button on Naruto's Phone.

* * *

At **ANBU Blue HQ**, Sasuke's phone call was cut off. 

"Strange. I've been cut off."

* * *

Naruto resumes the phone call. "Temari? Sorry to waste a bit of your time..." 

Shizune and Moegi walked out of the office.

"Moegi. Could you go downstairs and get some boxes?" asked Shizune.

* * *

Back on the streets of Konoha, Temari finally gets back to Naruto. 

"You already have. What is it, Naruto?"

_Naruto: "Well, we have a slight problem. A certain Ero-Sennin is in Sunagakure Prison and I would like to ask for your help, as a liaison from the Sand to...arrange for a prisoner exchange." _

* * *

At Shizune's desk, Lee was setting up Shizune's computer. 

"Pretty soon, I'll get this thing up and running." Lee takes the plug from Shizune's computer. "I'll go find one of those power plug thingies..."

Lee runs off with the plug. After a while, Shizune's computer was pulled off the table.

"Sorry, my friends! No harm done," apologized Lee.

At that moment, Moegi returned carrying some boxes. She did not see Shizune's computer on the floor and poor Moegi trips over the computer...

* * *

_Temari: "And I'll try to convince Gaara about that problem. I don't think Jiraiya heard about a new law in Suna stating that perverts spying on women's change rooms is an offence that will send you to prison. Especially when you got someone extremely drunk." _

"Thank you, Temari."

Naruto looks outside his office to see Moegi being taken away by Medic-nins.

_Temari: "And one more thing, Naruto. Don't ever use a speaker phone when talking to me. That's just arrogant male chauvinistic bullshit." _

**End of 04 **

* * *

**Original Characters: **

**Miyabi Lee** (Daughter of Rock Lee. Known as the _'Green __Phoenix__ of Konoha'_. She was a Genin student of Naruto before he became the Hokage. She has Lee's 'Enthusiasm' and training style of wearing weights on her legs. What she doesn't have are the fuzzy eyebrows and green bodysuit. She is the Jonin sensei of the next generation Team 10, consisting of the next generation InoShikaCho trio.)

**Akimichi Chohi** (Son of Choji, together with Inoryou and Shikami, they form the InoShikaCho trio of their generation. Their Jonin-sensei is Miyabi Lee and fortunately the trio's bond keeps each other from the influence Miyabi would have on them.)

**Uchiha Chi** (Sasuke's son. He may be popular with the girls, but his skill level as a ninja is a disgrace to the Uchiha clan and because of that, Chi admires the current Hokage.)

* * *

It was late at night and Naruto was doing paperwork **(Shock and horror!)**. Hinata walked into Naruto's office. 

"You're still doing paperwork this late? That's a first," said Hinata.

"I know. But we're a bit under for this chapter."

"By how much?"

"About 117 words," said Naruto.

"Are you sure you want readers to see you only doing paperwork for the remaining 98 words?" asked Hinata.

Naruto looked at his wife. "You got a better idea, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata sat on Naruto's desk. "Well...since we're the only ones in the building and this is your office...I thought maybe we could use this chance to...spice up our marriage."

"Really? Ok, show me."

Hinata walks to her office.

Naruto resumes his paperwork. "It's not that rabbit costume you wore for Easter, is it?" asked Naruto.

Hinata returns to Naruto's office wearing the rabbit costume, with rabbit ears and rabbit tail. "Errr...no, Naruto-kun."

Hinata runs back to her office.

**Ok, the real end of 04**


	5. The Christmas BirthDaze

**22nd December **

Naruto was working in his office. He pressed the button for the intercom.

"Shizune, could you get Uzumaki Yuki, Uzumaki Naruko and Uzumaki Hikari?"

Naruto looks up and sees Lee at the door.

"Hey, Naruto, we got a problem in Meeting Room Two. Could you come with me?"

"Errr. Sure, Lee."

* * *

Naruto looked through the wrecked meeting room with a range of holes and written swear words on the walls.

"Ok, Lee. Let's take it from the beginning. How the hell did this happen?"

"I believe it was an accident, Hokage-sama," said Lee.

Naruto looked at Lee. "Yeah...an accident."

* * *

**What Naruto thought happened **

Lee walked into the room, only to slip on a banana peel. Lee started screaming as he kicked and punched the walls, threw furniture and scrolls around the room. Lee takes out a spray paint and he starts spraying curse words on the walls.

As soon as Lee stopped screaming, he fell face first to the floor, as though he truly slipped on the banana peel.

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings...

**The Hokage Files **

_05: The Christmas BirthDaze _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

* * *

Naruto was back at his desk. Standing in front of the Hokage were the three Uzumakis, Yuki _(Jonin/**ANBU**)_, Naruko _(Genin)_ and Hikari _(Genin)_. Naruto tossed three frog purses to his children.

"Alright, this is a very important mission. No one else knows about this, especially your mom. But I want you to follow her for today. Buy your mother some presents and keep them a secret until Christmas."

"What if she finds them?" asked Naruko. "She has same Byakugan ability like us."

"I don't know. Distract her?"

The three Uzumaki offspring were about to leave when one of the twins walked back into the office.

"Hey, dad. Where are my teammates?" asked Hikari.

"Teammates?"

"Yeah, my teammates, Garu and Shirai? The ones you ordered to paint the entire building."

"Oh, those two. I gave them a break from the painting job and placed them on a new mission."

Then, Naruto remembered something important. "And don't spend the money I gave you on Ramen!"

"Damn," mumbled three voices in unison outside Naruto's office.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Meeting Room Two, the sons of Kiba and Shino were fixing up the walls.

"I don't know how different this is from our other mission, Shirai," said Garu.

Shino calmly placed plaster over a hole that Lee punch through. "Maybe it's because we Genins are low maintenance and cheap labor."

Garu shrugged. "At least I did something to torment him..."

* * *

Shizune was looking at a file on her desk when she smelt something funny. Shizune opened her file cabinet to find a bucket of paint.

"I don't know why Naruto hides stuff like this in my file cabinets?"

* * *

Naruto was working at his desk when Shizune puts the bucket of paint on the Hokage's desk.

"Care to explain why this is in my file cabinet?" asked Shizune.

Naruto was confused. "File cabinet? You know I don't go near your file cabinet since it's has files that are personal and private."

"But someone has to put files from your office into my cabinet," said Shizune. "If you are not the one who put your files in there, who does it?"

"Hinata's sister."

* * *

Outside, Hanabi Hyuga puts a file into Shizune's file cabinet. _'You're definitely off my Christmas List this year, Naruto,'_ thought Hanabi.

* * *

Hinata was in her office when Naruto walks in.

"Hinata, do you have the guest list?"

Hinata looks up to Naruto. "Naruto-kun...do you know what is going on on the 27th of December?"

"I don't know...day after Boxing Day?" lied Naruto.

Naruto sees Hinata disappointed face. "Don't look so down, Hinata-chan. It's Christmas."

Naruto sees the Venetian blinds on the windows of Hinata's office. Naruto tries to shut the blinds for privacy, but the blinds fell on Naruto. Outside Hinata's window was Shizune working at her desk, Hanabi putting files into the file cabinet and the Genins Garu and Shirai having lunch.

"So, has the Chunin Exams Planning been moved again?" asked Hinata.

"Yeah." said Naruto. "They owe me one, anyway."

"Great." Hinata tosses a file to Naruto. "Then, you should be able to write up the guest list for the Christmas party."

"I would have got it done if it weren't for Lee taking his time doing whatever he's doing with our computers."

"Then, use Shizune's laptop."

"I swear I will do it." Naruto puts the file and broken window blinds on Hinata's desk, picks up a book and puts his hand on it.

"That's my Harry Potter book, Naruto-kun," said Hinata.

"Oops, nearly did an unbreakable vow."

Naruto drops the Harry Potter book and picks up another book and puts his hand on it. "I swear on my honor as the Hokage, I will write up the guest list..."

"That's my Japanese-to-English Dictionary, Naruto-kun," said Hinata.

"Well...I'm a man of my word."

Naruto picks up the blinds and was about to walk out of Hinata's office...

"You got my window blinds, Naruto-kun."

Naruto exchanges the blinds for the guest list and walks out of Hinata's office.

* * *

**23rd December **

In a meeting room, Neji was in front of a TV with an ultrasound recording.

"I think you can see the two heads here," Neji said, pointing at the images of the two babies.

"Cousin Neji, some of us are trying to eat here." At the meeting table, Hanabi and Hinata were having lunch. Hanabi was having trouble swallowing her lunch while Hinata was pretty alright since she has seen three different ultrasound images before.

"You're lucky you two are not going to be there for the birth," said Neji.

Hanabi nearly vomited at the thought of that.

"So, when is Tenten expecting, Cousin Neji?" asked Hinata.

"In a month or two," Neji said as he ejects the tape. "I think I should get a copy for Naruto."

"A month or two?" said Hinata. "I need to go have a word with Naruto-kun."

* * *

At Shizune's desk, Lee was trying to fix up Shizune's computer after what happened during the previous chapter.

"I don't know, Lee," said Shizune. "It's still not accessing the accounts. And I need to sort out the payments made by our clients."

Lee looks through his computer manual. "Ok, try opening Explorer."

Shizune clicked her mouse. Her computer suddenly makes a 'quack!'

"Ok." Lee opens an instruction manual and reads it. "Try pressing the Caps Lock."

Shizune press the Caps lock on her keyboard, only for the computer to make another 'quack!'. The Uzumaki siblings walked in.

"Still fixing the computers, Shizune-sensei?" asked Yuki.

"Yeah."

Hikari looked at the computer. "Can I try something?"

Lee smiled. "I guess it won't hurt."

Shizune stood up and let Hikari sit on the chair. Hikari typed a few things and

_Computer: "**WARNING:** You have entered __United States__ Air Force Early Warning..." _

"Hey, Hikari hacked into NORAD," said Shizune.

_Computer: "...all unauthorized users will be..." _

"I think the computer's still broke," Lee was about to hit Shizune's computer monitor...

* * *

Naruto was in his office when Hinata walks in.

**SMASH! **

"Naruto-kun...did you know that Tenten was pregnant when you hired Lee?"

"Yeah," said Naruto. "Neji told me to keep it a secret at the time but since you mention it, how is Tenten?"

"She's fine. She's going to expect the babies in a month or two." Hinata was about to leave Naruto's office.

"By the way, do you know what's on the 27th?" asked Hinata.

Naruto rubbed his chin. "Well, Boxing day is on the 26th...Soccer Day?"

Hinata sighed. She walked out of the Hokage's Office.

Garu and Shirai, who finally started painting the walls...in different colors. Garu was painting one wall orange while Shirai was painting the same wall blue next to the orange. Hinata noticed the multi-colored wall.

"Do you like it, Hinata-sama?" asked Garu.

Hinata looks at the orange, then the blue. She couldn't decide which color goes well with the wall. "I'll talk to the Hokage about this wall. Keep up the good work."

Both Garu and Shirai smiled. "Thank you, Hinata-sama!"

As soon as Hinata walked off, Garu opened a storeroom door. "She's gone."

Yuki, Naruko and Hikari got out of the storeroom.

"Thanks, guys. We owe you one," said Hikari as she followed her siblings to .

Naruto walked out of his office. "You two...I'll make a deal with you. If you could keep away the ladders, paint buckets and other things for tomorrow, I'll let you ask my daughters out for the Christmas Party."

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

Naruto looked at the wall and compared the colors to his orange and blue jacket. "Good job, guys. I'm going out for some Ramen. If you see my children, tell them to meet me at Ichiraku's."

Naruto leaves.

* * *

**24th December **

Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru, Lee and Shizune were in the meeting room. Sasuke walked into the meeting room.

"Sorry, I'm late," said Sasuke. "I had a complaint over one of my sons working with Jiraiya."

"It's Chi, right?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke nods.

"Ok. First order of business," said Shizune. "One of the Chunin Organizers had a heart attack, so the Chunin Exams won't start until next year."

"Woo hoo!" Naruto cheered.

Hinata gave an angry glare at Naruto.

"What?" said Naruto. "At least Garu and Shirai will still be Genins while they finish painting the building. Cheap labor."

"And in other business," said Hinata. "Udon is now the person to look for when we're dealing with debt collecting, anything involving paperwork and a scapegoat. So don't bother my sister."

"Really? Give me a second..."

* * *

Outside, two **ANBU**s were waiting for the Hokage.

"You said you found the person who hacked into NORAD from here, Hokage-sama?" asked one of the **ANBU**s.

"Yeah. Follow me."

Naruto led the **ANBU**s to the _'culprit'_.

* * *

Back in the meeting room...

"Shizune, has the invitations to the Christmas Party been sent out?" asked Hinata.

Shizune nods. "We've sent Udon to get started on it."

* * *

Udon was chained up by the **ANBU**s. "But I don't even know how to use a computer!"

"I don't know, hacking into NORAD is a serious offence," said one of the** ANBUs**.

"Don't forget do these while you're in Prison, Udon." Naruto gave a stack of papers for Udon to the other **ANBU**.

* * *

**25th December **

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi were on their way to the Hokage Building for the Christmas Party.

"I'm surprised that you didn't get your invitations. Everyone got theirs..."

"I know. All I got was an angry reminder to pay for a non-existent bill," said Kakashi, holding up a bill from the Hokage's office.

"Same here," added Sakura, showing her letter.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I can't figure out how that happened to your invites.."

* * *

**Konoha** **Hospital**

With Udon in prison, Moegi was the only person free to do paperwork...

But poor Moegi was crying at a stack of paperwork she was given.

* * *

"I'm impress you're planning all this for your wife," said Sakura. "You're not usually like this, even when we were Genins."

"Well, Sakura. I felt that Hinata deserves something since she's been helping me run the village."

"So, will there be any cake?" asked Kakashi.

"Cake?" At that Moment, Naruto remembered something very important.

* * *

**Flashback: Last Night **

Naruto was reading a copy of the Icha Icha Fantasy while his children were baking a cake for their mother.

"Dad, don't forget to take the cake from Uncle Kiba's place tomorrow," said Naruko. "We'll take mom to places to distract her so that you can take the cake there."

"Don't worry, I won't forget the cake," Naruto said without looking up.

* * *

**Inuzuka Household **

Naruto bursts into the kitchen and quickly takes the cake from the fridge.

* * *

**Hokage** **Building**

Hinata walked into a dark room with her children. The lights were suddenly switched on.

"Surprise!"

Hinata sure was surprised. "Oh...you shouldn't have. All of you remembered my birthday."

"Well, Naruto decided to bring together this year's Christmas party with your Birthday party, we all decided to pitch in to give you two presents."

Hinata looks around the room. It consists of mostly of friends, former teachers, fellow shinobis, allies and offspring. But no sign of her husband

"Where's Naruto-kun?"

"I got you a cake, Hinata-chan!" Naruto runs into the room, only to trip over one of Hinata's presents, sending the cake flying towards Hinata's face.

**A Cleanup later... **

Naruto grinned. "Sorry, Hinata-chan. But to make it up to you, I'll give you two presents."

Naruto gives a present to Hinata.

"You said two presents."

"That's the thing. It's two presents-in-one," said Naruto.

Hinata opened the present. It's a NaruPod. "Naruto-kun, I know that this is expensive, but where's the other present?"

"I said its two presents. It's a **4GB NaruPod**. **2GB** for Christmas, **2GB **for your birthday. What do you think?"

* * *

**List of Children and their parents: **

_**Naruto and Hinata:  
**_**Yuki**: Eldest son of Naruto and Hinata. First appearance in Chapter 3  
**Naruko**: Elder twin daughter of Naruto and Hinata. Currently a Genin in the 2nd Generation Team Seven.  
**Hikari**: Younger twin daughter of Naruto and Hinata. She is in the same Genin team as Garu and Shirai (aka. the painters).

_**Sasuke and Sakura:  
**_**Setsuna**: Eldest Daughter of Sasuke and Sakura. First appearance in Chapter 3.  
**Rai**: Elder twin son of Sasuke and Sakura. Currently in the same Genin team as Naruko and Chi, also known as the 2nd Generation Team Seven. Hasn't made an appearance yet.  
**Chi**: Younger twin son of Sasuke and Sakura. First appearance in Chapter 4  
**Yuri**: Youngest daughter of Sasuke and Sakura. Currently in the Academy. Hasn't appeared in the fanfic yet.

_**Shikamaru and Ino:  
**_**Shikami**: Shikamaru and Ino's Daughter. Intelligent and lazy. She's currently a Genin in the new generation's ShikaInoCho trio of Team Ten. First appeared in Chapter 2.  
**Inoryou**: Shikamaru and Ino's son. Currently a Genin in the new generation ShikaInoCho trio of Team Ten. First appeared in Chapter 2.

_**Neji and Tenten:  
**_**Nagi**: Neji and Tenten's Son. He's a Jonin and a former Genin student of Naruto. He is the Sensei of the 2nd Generation Team Eight. Hasn't officially appeared yet.  
(Note: Tenten is expecting twins.)

_**Kiba:  
**_**Garu**: Kiba's son. He is in the same Genin team as Hikari and Shirai, forming the 2nd Generation Team Eight. Currently on a mission with Shirai to paint the Hokage Building. First appearance in Chapter 1.

_**Shino:  
**_**Shirai**: Shino's son. He is in the same Genin team as Hikari and Garu, forming the 2nd Generation Team Eight. Currently on a mission with Garu to paint the Hokage Building. First appearance in Chapter 1.

_**Kakashi:  
**_**Nanaya/Aoi**: Kakashi's daughter. Wears a mask covering her face. The identity of her mother is reserved for another chapter. Prefers to be called Aoi because 'Nana' means seven in Japanese, and she's the Jonin sensei of the 2nd Generation Team Seven. Will appear in this chapter.

_**Choji and Temari:  
**_**Haruka**: Choji and Temari's daughter. She's currently a Jonin who does missions for both the Sand and Leaf. Has not appeared yet.  
**Chohi**: Choji and Temari's son. He is in the Genin team with Shikami and Inoryou, forming the InoShikaCho trio in the 2nd Generation Team Ten. First appearance in Chapter 4.)

* * *

**20 years later **

The Hachidaime (Eighth) Hokage was working in her office, doing some paperwork.

"Hokage-sama." Nanaya 'Aoi' Hatake walked into the office. She's a splitting image of her father, wearing a mask and covering her left eye. "I see you are at work."

"Yes, I am, Aoi-sensei."

"Naruko. You're the Hokage. I'm no longer your sensei, so there's no need to call me that," explained Aoi. "In fact, I'm alright with you calling me by my real name. I picked the nickname _'Aoi'_ because using 'Team Nanaya' patronizes me and it will confuse anyone if I get another team."

"Ok, Nanaya."

"Well...what's the problem?" asked (for the purposes of less confusion) Aoi.

"I got a phone call from the higher-ups saying that we're overtime," explained Naruko.

Aoi crossed her arms. "If that's the case, why are we doing this scene that takes place 20 years later?"

Naruko realized the irony. "You're right, why are we doing a pointless scene?"

**End of 05 **


	6. The Massive TV Poisoning

Hinata was in her office working.

"Naruto-kun!"

Naruto appeared at the door. "What is it, Hinata-chan?"

"Have you done the booklet thingy I asked you to do?" asked Hinata.

"Yes I have. And I find it unnecessary if you use that tone of voice."

Suddenly, Konohamaru walked to Naruto holding a booklet thingy. "Here's the booklet thingy you've asked me to do, Hokage-sama," said Konohamaru.

"Thank you." Naruto takes the booklet. As soon as Konohamaru has left, Naruto said, "Well, the future Hokage needs to learn how to use the binding machine. And I will beta read the booklet..."

Hinata walks towards the exit.

"On the way to the TV station..." finished Naruto as soon as Hinata was out of Naruto's hearing range.

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... 

**The Hokage Files **

_06: The Massive TV Poisoning _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

_**Note:** Watch out for cameo apprearences in this fanfic..._

* * *

Naruto and Hinata were walking to the **TVKonoha** building. 

"Hey, did I tell you about the time I taught my Genin students the different forms of combat?"

"Yes, you did, Naruto-kun. About 50 times over the past 4 years."

* * *

Inside the TV station waiting room, Hinata and Naruto were sitting around, with Hinata looking at the booklet and Naruto was watching a TV show that has an Anime character with big hair and goggles speaking to another character wearing a red cap. 

"I really hate talk shows like these," commented Naruto.

An assistant walked to the Hokage and his wife. "The producer is ready to see you."

* * *

Naruto and Hinata were in a messy office of a TV producer. The TV producer reads Gai's proposal. 

"Well, I'm sure Mr. Maito would be pleased to know that his show will be promoted worldwide."

"Good to hear," said Hinata. "We can provide our own props and other stuffs. All we need are just the cameras."

"I see," said the Producer. "Well, I'll send this to the guys upstairs ASAP and I'll call you within a week," said the TV producer.

"Great," said Hinata, looking at her husband.

"I'll expect your call," said Naruto.

* * *

**One Year Later **

Naruto was on the phone in his office.

"That's great news. I'll send a couple of Jonins over to keep an eye on things."

Naruto puts the phone down. "Hinata-chan!"

"What is it, Naruto-kun?"

"Good news, **TVKonoha** has agreed and they'll be doing it this Friday."

"But Tenten's heavily pregnant, so we need someone else to replace her for the time being and that would need a change in notes."

"I'll handle it, Hinata-chan. I will edit and beta read these notes. After all, I had to beta read a form I asked Lee to do for me. I found out from Lee that my age was 106 and my profession is a Pokémon Trainer."

Sasuke walks into the office carrying an envelope. "Sakura made me ask around the gang to put something together for Shikamaru and Ino. Their birthday is coming up."

Hinata takes Naruto's frog purse. "How much did everyone put in?"

"Around 200 Ryou per person," said Sasuke.

Hinata takes out 400 Ryou and puts it in Sasuke's envelope.

"Thanks, Hinata. I'll bring the card around..."

As Sasuke leaves the office, Shizune walks in.

"What was it that Shizune was collecting last week?" asked Naruto.

"The lunch money. You still owe me 120 Ryou."

Hinata takes out Naruto's frog purse again and pays Shizune.

"Since when did having Take-away Ramen from Ichiraku's come up to 120 Ryou?"

* * *

At the Meeting room, Shizune, Lee, Shikamaru, Hinata and Naruto were at the table. 

"The Chunin exams have been canceled again. Konohamaru forgot to send a message to the other Hidden Villages with the information," announced Shizune. "And the Hokage has an announcement..."

At that moment, Sasuke walked into the meeting room with his eight-year old daughter. "Sorry about that. A termite infestation has forced the academy to close for the day, so I had to bring Yuri with me to work since Sakura has surgery to do in the afternoon."

"That's ok," said Hinata. "I'm sure the Hokage would be fine with you bringing your daughter to work."

Naruto nods. "Anyway, big news. **TVKonoha** has agreed with the new TV show we have pitched to them." Sasuke takes out a little teddy bear and plays it in front of his daughter. "And it is agreed that they will start the filming this Friday..."

At that instant, Yuri grabbed Naruto's collar and slams him onto the table, causing him to have a nose bleed. "Dammit, Sasuke! Can't you control your own daughter? Especially when she has her mother's monstrous strength?"

* * *

**A few _'accidents'_ later... **

Naruto walked into the lobby of the Hokage Building just after leaving the hospital getting treatment for a broken nose, bruised face and a black eye.

Garu was calling out to Naruto. "Hokage-sama, come look at this!"

Garu points at the ceiling. "What do you think?"

"That's quite good wallpaper."

"I know. Shirai and I took it from some old wallpaper from our places and decided to put it on the ceiling."

Naruto was impressed. "Very nice. I like the birds, the bees and the dog. But..." Naruto changed his expression. "I suggest you take that down before I decide to turn you two into human wallpapers!" screamed Naruto.

"Yes Hokage-sama!" Garu quickly climbed up the ladder.

Naruto pulls an old copy of Icha Icha Paradise off Kakashi's daughter, who happens to be reading it in the lobby. "Thank you."

"Hey! I was reading that," said Aoi.

* * *

At Shizune's desk, Shizune was watching Lee was doing something with Naruto's cell phone. 

Naruto sees Shizune. "Hey, Shizune, since there is a function tonight, would you mind if you could come tonight…"

"Of course."

"...to work in the kitchen," finished Naruto.

"Wa?"

"Great. See you tonight." Naruto sees Lee pressing random buttons on Naruto's cell phone. "What the hell are you doing with my Phone, Lee?"

"Hinata-sama asked me to put in some reminders in your phone, like getting ice at 5 o'clock."

Naruto snatched his phone back. "Don't touch my phone...or whatever that is left of it."

"Yes, Hokage-sama...I think I better check the server."

Lee runs off.

* * *

At the Hokage's desk, Naruto was reading his 'borrowed' copy of Icha Icha Paradise. Then, Naruto picked up his phone and makes a call. 

"Sakura?"

* * *

At Konoha Hospital, Shizune was at Sakura's desk with Sakura and Sasuke walking out of the door. 

"Sakura has just gone out for her break," answered Shizune.

_Naruto (on phone): "Who's this?" _

"Shizune."

_Naruto (on phone): "Well, since it's you, could you tell everyone that I'm busy." _

"Too late for that," mumbled Shizune.

Tsunade walked into Sakura's office. "Have you seen Naruto? I tried looking for him at Ichiraku's but he isn't there."

"He's back in his office reading a copy of Icha Icha Paradise, Tsunade-sama," said Shizune.

* * *

Sasuke walks into Naruto's office. "You busy, Naruto?" 

Naruto looks up from his Icha Icha Paradise. "Do I look busy, Sasuke?"

"You're not busy," said Sasuke.

Naruto quickly tossed the book away and started on some paperwork. "Now, do I look busy?"

"Naruto, you got to be a bit more professional. You're the leader of this village."

"Sasuke, as the head of **ANBU** Blue, don't you need to prepare yourself for the party tonight?"

"Now that you mentioned the party," said Sasuke. "You need me to get anything for the function? You know. Saké? Onigiri? Sakura sure makes nice Sushi."

"Onigiri?" said Naruto...

* * *

**Flashback to Last Night **

Naruto was watching TV when Hinata removing her apron. "Naruto-kun. The Onigiri (Rice balls) I made are cooling down. Could you put them in the fridge before you go to sleep?"

"I will, Hinata-chan," Naruto said, without looking away from the TV.

* * *

Naruto remembered what he has forgotten. 

"Oh my god..."

Naruto quickly ran out of his office past Sasuke...

* * *

Back at the Uzumaki Household, a small fox was licking some rice balls on the kitchen table. The fox jumped off the kitchen table and made a run for it. It sensed the arrival of a bigger fox. Naruto runs through the front door and made a run to the kitchen table and sees the tray of rice balls still in one piece. Naruto quickly puts the tray in the fridge.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Hokage building, Hinata, Shizune, Sakura and Lee were celebrating Shikamaru and Ino's birthdays. 

"Happy birthday to you! YAY!"

Shikamaru and Ino blew out the candles.

Sasuke walks in with a large cake.

"Here you go. I hope you like this cake I got." Sasuke takes out two present boxes. "Here you go.

"I wonder what it is," said Ino as the birthday boy and girl opened their presents.

"Eh?" The presents they received were miniature key chains versions of themselves.

"You spent our money for this?" asked Hinata.

Sasuke takes out a voucher. "Nope. I spent the rest on this voucher for this new Korean BBQ Restaurant."

* * *

At **TVKonoha**, Naruto was with Naru Narusegawa from Love Hina on the set of preparing to do scene of a new show. 

_(**A/N:** The only reason why they're filming in Konoha is because filming locations and extras are extremely cheap in Konoha. Naruto was in his favorite orange jacket and pants with the black t-shirt underneath.) _

"So, I hear that you're doing a new University show."

Naru nods. "Yeah."

"Miss Narusegawa, we're starting in five and we need an extra," said the director. "You, in the orange outfit. Would you mind being an extra?"

Naruto points at himself. "Me? Ok. What am I suppose to do?"

"Just sit at a desk in the classroom and act as though you're listening," explained the director.

Naruto sat at a desk

**"Lights, camera, action!" **

Naru was walking around in front of a class.

"And the most important thing in teaching is..."

Naruto raised his hand. "Excuse me, but if she's teaching, wouldn't she need a board to write on?"

**"CUT!" **

* * *

Naruto was kicked out of the studio by a producer. "Wait here until you're needed."

* * *

After an hour, Naruto was bored, so he walked through a door, only to end up in a newsroom. 

"Onto the weather with our weather guy, Takeshi."

* * *

Takeshi was in front of a blue/green screen. 

"As you can see behind me, it will be clear skies as usual around Konoha..."

Naruto notices weather map of every single country. Then, Naruto sees a camera looking at the map...

* * *

In the TV editing room, the Producer sees Naruto's face on the weather map. 

"Who the hell...Security!"

"Meep." Naruto quickly ran out of the news room. He sees a door and quickly enters it.

The security guard ran by, ignoring the door Naruto entered.

Naruto finds himself in a dressing room. Before he could open the door to check if the coast is clear, another door opened. With a bit of quick thinking, Naruto sees a chair and decides to hide under it. Naru Narusegawa walked in from another door wearing a bathrobe and a towel covering her head.

"I love it when TV stations provide their own hot springs." Naru took the towel off her hair and tosses it on the chair, giving some cover for Naruto. Naruto peeked from under the towel to see the bathrobe being removed.

At that moment, screams were heard from Naruto's phone.

_"Oh shit, my reminders to get the ice,"_ mumbled Naruto as hides behind the towel and bathrobe...

* * *

At the party, Jonins from Konoha and Suna were at a function in the Hokage Building. 

"Let me tell you, I've never tried room temperature fizz drinks," said a Konoha Jonin.

"Really? It's not so bad, considering that I live in a desert," said a Jonin from Suna.

Shizune was carrying snacks and drinks on a tray while wearing a waiter's outfit. _'When the night is over, I swear I will kill Naruto...'_

Naruto walked into the party with a black eye and a few bags of ice. "Hey, Hinata-chan."

"You got the ice, Naruto-kun?" Hinata sees the black eye. "What happened to your eye?"

"I had a restraining order placed on me," explained Naruto. "But never mind, where does the ice go other than my eye?"

Kankuro walked up to Shizune. "Hey, Shizune, have you got any more of those tasty Onigiri?"

**Many Cases of Food Poisoning Later... **

At **TVKonoha**...

Backstage, Yuki ran to the Hokage.

"How's your mom, Yuki?" asked Naruto.

"Mom will be fine. Setsuna will take care of mom and her own mother," said Yuki. "But we have a problem. Gai is also sick, so there's no host for the show."

"Is there anyone else who could host it? Like Lee?" asked Naruto.

"Lee is the last person I would ask," said Yuki. "Remember the last time he did Konoha Idol?"

"Oh yeah. His singing caused the last outbreak of massive diarrhea and vomiting because he was able to sing the brown note and cause mysterious cases of stomach upsets," said Naruto. "Don't want to risk that again."

"Aunt Tenten's fine, but she's heavily pregnant and Neji-sama refuses to involve himself in anything that originates from Gai," explained Yuki. "Shizune-sensei and Tsunade-sama are busy with the large number of sick patients, which is pretty much most of the Jonins and Chunins from Konoha and Suna who ate at the party. That means your three former students doing double shifts protecting this village with their own students. So, you're the only one free."

* * *

_Naruto's Voice-Over: "Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the first ever **Maito Gai Television Series** Episode and your host Maito Gai...cannot be here tonight. So in his place is the current Hokage of Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto!" _

Naruto was pushed on stage by his son and was given Gai's notes.

"Errr...Hello and welcome to the first ever Maito Gai Television Series episode."

* * *

In the production room, the producer recognizes Naruto. "Not him again!"

* * *

Shikamaru was in bed with Ino as they each held a bucket. 

"I swear that want to kill the Hokage, mumbled Ino.

"If this stomachache wasn't too troublesome," adds Shikamaru.

* * *

Hinata was carrying a bucket watching the TV from her bedroom. "Oh no..."

* * *

"Before we go to out first joke, let us meet our guest...who happens to be..." Naruto turns around and sees Naru. "Narusegawa..." 

Naru crossed her arms. "Not within 50 mile radius, Hokage-sama," said Naru.

* * *

The healthy couple, Neji and Tenten were in the hospital room watching Naruto on TV. 

"And this is why I didn't want to be on it," explained Neji as he watched the scene.

* * *

"Oh, say something!" screamed Gai back at his apartment, before making a mad dash to the toilet...

* * *

On stage, Naruto is extremely nervous as he remembered the restraining order. 

"Oh fu..."

**Transmission Cut. **

_Naruto's V/O: "Due to some technical difficulties, tonight's episode of the **Maito Gai Television Series** cannot be shown. In its place, we will put in another TV show..." _

* * *

**At an unknown location... **

Jiraiya was being fed some fruits by two women while watching TV when he notices the cut in transmission.

"What the hell?"

* * *

**5 years ago **

Naruto was wearing his Jonin vest standing in front of his three Genin students, Hyuuga Nagi (Neji and Tenten's son), Miyabi Lee (Rock Lee's daughter) and Akimichi Haruka (Choji and Temari's eldest daughter), at the training ground.

"Today, I will show you the different forms of combat, because a fight is unpredictable," said Naruto. "If necessary, we must avoid fights, because we are ninjas, but at times, we may not have a choice. For example...Haruka. Come at me with what you have."

Haruka nods and prepares to charge towards Naruto. At that instant, Naruto picks up Zabuza's sword and his students have been replaced by cardboard cutouts of themselves, indicating a very quick escape. A small breeze easily knocked over the replacements.

"I knew I shouldn't have taught them the Kawarimi first," Naruto said to himself.

* * *

**5 Years and 1 Week later. **

In the Hokage's office, Naruto was on the phone.

"Listen, I don't know how our elite Jonins got food poisoning, but you can't simply say that it was my fault, Granny Tsunade!" said Naruto. "Well, time and memory are not fixed constructs in this fanfic, so I doubt anyone would remember it in the next chapter."

Lee's daughter, Miyabi walks into Naruto's office carrying a guitar.

"Naruto-sensei, are we behind in this chapter?"

"Yeah," Naruto looked at his former student. "You got any ideas on how to pass the time and make use of the extra spaces we've been given for this chapter?"

Miyabi notices the guitar she's holding. "I got an idea. How about parodying a songfic by copying a song that has been used in another fanfic by PikaFlash?" asked Miyabi.

Naruto shrugs. "Why not?"

Miyabi plays the guitar in the tune of the song _"Complicated"_ by Avril Lavigne (It's the piano version of _"Complicated"_ played on a guitar.)

_"Uh huh, life's like this"  
__"Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is"  
__"Cause life's like this"  
__"Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is"_

_"My name is Sumilidon,"  
__"Tell me, what have I done to deserve this?"  
__"All I am, just a humble pianist"  
__"What you see is what you get!"  
__"I'm just a pianist for a show"  
__"When I'm playing the piano"  
__"And you're talking to me one on one, you fire me." _

**A Short Lyrical Edit Later **

_"Why did his happen, what did I do?"  
__"You're watching my back like you can't relax"  
__"You're tryin' to be cool you to make me like a fool"  
__"Tell me..."_

_"Why does everything around me became so complicated?"  
__"I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated"  
__"Life's like this you"  
__"And you pound and you smack and you whack"  
__"And you take what you get and you turn it into my problems"  
__"And you tell me I'm never gonna find out you did it"  
__"No no no." _

Miyabi finished the song.

"Would that do, Naruto-sensei?"

Naruto looks at his watch. "That should do it. Thanks, Miyabi." Naruto resumed his paperwork.

**End of 06 **


	7. The 595 Ryou Chicken Sandwich

Hinata and Naruto were in a meeting room working through some paperwork and bills.

"How in the world did this happen?" asked Hinata. "You're the Hokage and I thought we've settled Tsunade-sama's bills."

"Not to mention that the budget for adding my head on the mountain has somehow made its way to paying those two idiots for painting the entire building," added Naruto.

Hinata sighed. "I just don't understand. Last month, everything was all fine. How did things get so bad?"

Naruto crossed his arms. "Here's what I think. It all started yesterday, which two days ago, we would have foolishly called _'tomorrow'_, when I was on the way here with your hot coffee when I heard a familiar and distressing voice..."

The room around Naruto and Hinata begins to distort into a flashback...

* * *

**Flashback: Yesterday **

Naruto was walking towards the Hokage building wearing an oven mitten carrying an extremely hot glass of coffee when he meets up with Lee, who happens to be jogging.

"Naruto. Ran out of paper cups?" asked Lee.

"No," said Naruto. "Hinata likes her boiling hot coffee this way."

"Never like coffee. Too much caffeine," said Lee. "Causes me to lose control and shake like an idiot."

"Really? I guess that's why the computers never run properly in the building."

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... 

**The Hokage Files **

_07: The 595 Ryou Chicken __Sandwich_

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

_A/N: Can you spot the cameos and cosplays in this fanfic?_

* * *

Lee was already at the top floor, with Naruto getting out of the elevator. 

"I win. Pay up," said Lee, holding out his hand.

Naruto sees that his hands are full, with one hand holding Hinata's coffee and the other holding his Chicken sandwich.

"Best out of three?"

"You're on!" Lee runs down the stairs.

"Sucker," mumbled Naruto. He decided to go somewhere else. Naruto sees Shizune.

"THE CHUNIN EXAMS HAVE BEEN CANCELED!" both Shizune and Naruto screamed.

Naruto smiled. "I knew it."

"Hokage-sama!" Anko was at Shizune's desk with a large. "I've completed the **B-Rank** mission and somehow the clients were so happy with our services that they even gave us a bag of their local onions."

"Wa?"

"Anyway, I'm off for some Dango." Anko leaves the bag on Shizune's desk and disappears.

"You're kidding me?" Naruto looks around the room. Shizune has just left, but Sakura has walked in. "Hey, Sakura-chan, could you help me get rid of a bag of onions?"

"What!"

"I'll double your pay for this month if you do," said Naruto, walking off to a door. "By the way, where's Kotetsu?"

Naruto opens the door, knocking Kotetsu down, who happens to be carrying a broken printer, with the printer flying up into the air and hitting Kotetsu in the head.

Naruto walks in and sees Kotetsu on the floor. "Sorry about that," apologized Naruto, accidentally spilling some coffee down Kotetsu's pants.

"AHHHH!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Hinata was with a client in her office when the heard Kotetsu's scream.

* * *

At the same time, Sasuke and another two clients heard the screams inside Naruto's office.

* * *

Naruto looked at the _'damage'_ as Sakura, Shizune and Lee watched Kotetsu rolling around in pain, after getting his hot coffee on his pants, getting hit in the head by a broken printer and getting knocked down by a door that the Hokage opened. 

"I think I'd better go see Sasuke."

* * *

Naruto sneaks by Hinata's office to get into his own office, where Sasuke was speaking to the clients inside. Naruto walks in and puts his chicken sandwich on the desk. 

"I won't be long, Sasuke."

* * *

Naruto walks to Hinata's office and puts the cup containing the remainder of Hinata's coffee. 

"Well, that's all they got."

"Don't tell me you bought your _595 Ryou Chicken Sandwich_?"

Naruto rolls his eyes. "What makes you think I would buy it?"

* * *

Naruto returned to his office, where Sasuke and the clients were waiting. 

"Sorry about that. Had an issue involving some painters. What's the story, Sasuke?"

"Konno Mitsune and Keitaro Urashima of the _Kit Fox Crew_ on **HINA FM**," said Sasuke. "They have an issue over the President of Japan and they want to avoid a defamation lawsuit. So, we need to find the right words to use..."

Naruto rubbed his chin. "Well, the first words I could think of that won't lead to defamation are _'pig'_, _'monkey'_ and _'scared little puppy dog'_."

* * *

A sneeze was heard at the Yamanaka flower shop.

* * *

Followed by one in a locked room in the Hokage Building.

* * *

And one more sneeze was heard at the Inuzuka household.

* * *

"We could compile a list and fax it to you..." 

Naruto accidentally sits on his chicken sandwich on his desk.

"I think I got a very important issue involving the Chunin Exams. Please...I'll leave you in the hands of Sasuke."

"Lazy Idiot," mumbled Sasuke.

Naruto heard that but thought it was for the list. "That's a good one, Sasuke."

* * *

Hinata was with a client. 

"Don't worry. When we send out our Genins to collect your furniture, we will be sure to treat them with great importance and respect, just as we would with our customers."

Hinata sees Naruto outside her office showing Shizune his orange pants with remains of a chicken sandwich on its bottom instead of wearing the pants.

Luckily, the client didn't see Naruto's lack of pants.

* * *

"I look like an idiot," said Naruto, with his orange jacket and black t-shirt on, but wearing green spandex to cover the bottom half of his body. Lee and Shizune checked out Naruto's new fashion statement. Half his and half Gai's. 

"You don't look so bad, Naruto," said Lee.

"Maybe if you roll up the pants, it won't look like you have Gai's bottom half donated to you," suggested Shizune.

Hinata walks by when she sees Lee. "Oh my god, Lee. At least put on some underwear. This is the Hokage's building, for Pika's sake."

"I'll go sendyour pantsto the cleaners so that you have something to wear when you go home," Shizune said, walking off.

"Well, the spandex has to come from somewhere," said Lee as he finishes rolling up the bottom half of Naruto's (originally Lee's) spandex.

"What do you think, Naruto?"

Naruto looks at the oddly rolled up spandex. "It looks ok...believe it."

Kakashi walks by, giving a wolf whistle.

* * *

Hinata was setting up a meeting room when Naruto appears, wearing his Hokage Robes. 

"You think someone won't notice that I'm not wearing any pants under these robes, Hinata-chan?"

"Unless someone uses the Byakugan strong enough to see through your robes," Hinata said as she sets up the table. "But I don't have time to give you fashion advice. I got a very important meeting over an insurance issue with Shikamaru."

"I know, but I prefer to wear my robes only for formal occasions," explained Naruto. "And besides, I don't want to walk down the street with people paying their respects. It would make me out of character!"

_(A/N: Well, it's your fault for sitting your big fat butt on your big fat sandwich, messing up your big fat pants.) _

Hinata tries out some Naruto poses. "Naruto-kun. Which pose should I try out? Your _'Believe it!'_ pose, your _'I will be come Hokage'_ pose or your _'I will bring back Sasuke' _pose?"

Naruto watched Hinata. "I think my _'Believe it!'_ pose should do."

Hinata does Naruto's _'Believe it!'_ pose.

Naruto gives his thumbs up. "Yep."

"How about you doing your _'Believe it!'_ pose, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto does his _'Believe it!'_ pose.

"That's why I love you, Naruto-kun."

Naruto was about to kiss Hinata when she stopped him.

"Not here, Naruto-kun. Especially not without your pants."

"I'll just get to work in my office."

* * *

Naruto was at his desk with Shizune putting the latest issue of the Icha Icha series on Naruto's desk. 

"You don't seem to be in the mood for reading, Naruto-sama? Jiraiya-sama has added a new recipe for Curry Ramen in it."

Sakura calls in through the intercom. "Hokage-sama. There's someone familiar on his way to your office."

"I'll go check on your pants." Shizune leaves the room and the familiar person enters the Hokage's office.

"Can I help you?" asked Naruto.

"Yes. You may remember me. I was once a member of you team." The person smiled. "You may remember me as Sai."

"Oh, ok."

"And I was wondering if you are happy with your current insurance policy."

"Wa?"

"You see. We have a new insurance policy that covers certain personal bits, like your pe..."

At that moment, Naruto remembered who Sai is. "WHAT!"

* * *

Sai was being pushed out of the Hokage building. "If you are satisfied with your current insurance policies, are you interested in enlarging your pe..." 

"OUT!" screamed Naruto. "The next time you come into the Hokage building mentioning private parts, I'll personally cut yours off!"

Sai runs off scared...

Naruto turns around and sees Sasuke was at the fax machine at Shizune's desk with Sakura working at the desk when Naruto walked into the room, looking at the half-painted room.

"Just faxing the list to the Kit Fox Crew," said Sasuke.

"What the hell is it with those two Genins?" said Naruto. "I asked them to paint the place if they want to date my daughters and all they do is slack off and now they want to sue me for unfair child labor and employer negligence! It's a freaking **E-Rank** Mission to paint the entire Hokage building!"

Naruto sees the bag of Onions still on Shizune's desk, where Sakura was working. "Sakura! I thought I told you to get rid of the onions!"

"Make me" said Sakura as she takes some phone calls.

"Alright, I'll cut your pay in half..."

"Fine!" Sakura picked up the bag of onions and carried it off.

Sasuke sighed. "I just don't understand why you won't do the job yourself? You can make Shadow Clones."

Naruto looked at Sasuke. "Why didn't I think of that?" Sasuke shrugged.

"Hey, Sasuke...now that I think about it. Do you still have your video camera?"

"Why? You want pictures of my wife? I got far too many of them so I could give them to you if you ask."

Naruto shakes his head. "No, I need the camera to film those Genins..." Naruto realized Sasuke's question. "Why would I want pictures of Sakura-chan?"

Sasuke remembered Naruto's density, so he had to think fast. "Passport photos."

"I just need your video camera, Sasuke."

"Alright. But I'm the one who's going to be the one holding it."

"That's fine with me." Naruto looks around. "Now, I need something fast to get in and get out. Those Genins would be sure to keep a lookout on the roofs and road so we need something...like a disguise."

Sakura returned to Shizune's desk.

"Sakura-chan. Do you know Cosplay?"

* * *

Hinata picked up her files and was about to leave her room when she tripped over the bag of onions right outside her office.

* * *

A bicycle with two riders arrived in front of the Inuzuka household. One wearing a red cap on his head and the other with short pink hair tied into a ponytail. The two riders went behind a bush, where Naruto was in his Hokage robes, waiting. 

"Well?" asked the sixth Hokage.

"I've went around the top of buildings to see if they were looking out," said the guy in the red cap. "Seems that they're not looking out from the roof."

"And they're not keeping a lookout from the streets either," said the girl with the pink haired ponytail.

"Great. Then we'll wait here and watch from here."

Naruto looked out of the bushes with his teammates. "I can't say that this is the best place to hide, but I don't have my pants," explained Naruto. "Sasuke, get the camera ready."

"Ok." Sasuke takes the video camera and rewinds the tape.

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke watched a healthy looking Garu walking out of the Inuzuka compound to check the letter box for any mail, only to see junk mail, so he dump the stuff into a bin and returned to his home.

"Did you get that, Sasuke?" asked Naruto.

"Did I get what?" Sasuke asked back, as he held the camera in his hand.

"Bastard! Are you trying to make us lose our Insurance Premiums here? Those idiot Genins hiding out in the Inuzuka compound are trying to sue us and you're annoying me by not filming their activities?"

Naruto suddenly has a strange feeling that something is not right back at the building...

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Hokage Building… 

Shizune tripped over a bag of onions. Kakashi appeared from behind a wall and made a wolf whistle at the fallen Jonin.

* * *

Sasuke was bored, so he decides to switch on the portable radio on Sakura's bicycle. 

_Radio: "This is the Kit Fox Crew on **HINA FM**!" _

Sakura laughs. "I love this show."

_Radio (as President Goku's Clueless Voice): "Bweh! I'm a doufus!" _

**BOING! **

Naruto couldn't wait anymore. "That's it." Naruto stood up. "Sakura, stay with the bicycle...Sasuke bring the camera and follow me."

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke sneak through the back door into the Inuzuka compound. 

Suddenly, a dog over a fence in the Inuzuka yard started barking, catching the two shinobis off guard, with Sasuke nearly dropping his camera.

"Oh no..."

Luckily, the camera safely landed in Naruto's grasp.

"Thanks, Naruto," said Sasuke. "Sakura will kill me if I broke that."

"Really?" Naruto was about to throw the camera onto the floor.

"Nooo!"

Naruto held back. "Just kidding." Naruto sees a window on the second floor. "They might be hiding out on the second floor. Sasuke, why don't you get me something to stand on?"

"Why don't you get it yourself, idiot?" asked Sasuke.

"Why don't I demote you to a Genin and see how you like it?" retorted Naruto.

Sasuke walks around the corner and returns with a doormat.

"I need something taller."

Sasuke drops the doormat and walks off...and returns with a broom.

"Just get me something to stand on or you'll be studying at the academy for the next ten years!"

Sasuke returns with a wooden ladder.

"Great. Now, climb up there and take a look."

Sasuke puts the ladder over a garbage bin and climbed up to the window. Nothing happened, so Sasuke looked at his boss.

"Action!" hissed Naruto and Sasuke start the video recording.

* * *

On the second floor of the Inuzuka household, Sasuke sees and records something that is just too random to describe. The Inuzuka kid was wearing a doggy outfit while the Aburame kid was wearing a giant dog biscuit while dancing to techno music. But, no matter how weird the scene is, it's enough evidence for Naruto. 

Sasuke gives a look at Naruto.

Naruto climbed up the ladder to Sasuke's height and look inside next to Sasuke.

"That's way too random."

A crack was heard. The wooden ladder was never meant to support two grown men...

* * *

In the Inuzuka household, Garu and Shirai heard a loud crash outside the second floor window...so they are about to investigate...

* * *

...Naruto and Sasuke were in an awkward position, especially when Naruto doesn't have any pants. Both men were stuck in one garbage bin, facing each other. 

"We got to get out of here!"

Both Naruto and Sasuke shook their way out of the bin and quickly made a run for it.

"We'll split up and meet up at Ichiraku's!" ordered Naruto.

Sasuke tried to climb over a fence, only to find himself in the Inuzuka's dog yard. "Crap!"

* * *

As Sasuke gets mauled by dogs, Naruto was able to escape and make his way to Sakura. 

"Sakura, move! We're riding the bike!"

Naruto sat on the bicycle and Sakura climbed on Naruto's shoulders. "Where's my husband!"

"He'll live! We got to go!"

"Stop, thief!" screamed Garu, followed by Shirai.

Naruto takes the bicycle on a wild ride around Konoha to escape from their pursuers. The radio on Sakura's bike switched on.

_Radio: (Goku's Clueless Voice): Bweh...I was under the impression that it would be a case of **Destination: Disneyland**." _

_Radio: "The president is a dob..." _

Naruto interrupts the radio.

"Hang on; what's what Sasuke cal...

Sakura interrupts Naruto...

"Naruto! Look out for Cho..."

Sakura was interrupted as Naruto lost control of the bike, causing both Naruto and Sakura to scream...

* * *

**1 1/2 seconds later... **

Both Naruto and Sakura were stuck under a bicycle on the aftermath of an accident trying to avoid Choji carrying a large bag of groceries.

* * *

At the Hokage Building, Lee has finally got the computer system up and running. 

"Shizune-sama! I got the computer system up and running!"

"This better not be a joke." Shizune limps to her computer.

"Mission accomplished, Hinata-sama!"

Hinata walked out and sees Shizune's computer. "Are you sure, Lee?"

Shizune was able to use her computer without any problems. "It's working."

"And not to mention, now Shizune can access Hinata's computer, Naruto's computer, the server, Tsunade's accounts and I even have time to install a RTS _(Real Time Strategy)_ game for the kids to play."

"That's great," said Hinata.

Shizune looked at Lee. "Rock Lee, take a bow."

Lee was about to make a bow but Hinata stopped him. "Not when you're not wearing underwear, Lee."

Shizune notices something strange on the computer. "I see a bomb ticking. And my computer has frozen." Shizune sniffs the air. "And why do I smell burning."

"Errr...let me see." Lee presses a button, only to get a zap.

* * *

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were at Ichiraku's Ramen, battered, bruised, ripped clothing, a damaged video recorder, a destroyed bicycle and an injured Sakura. Luckily for Naruto, the Hokage robe Naruto's wearing hides his lack of pants. They were having a meal, with Sakura wearing a temporary neck brace she made, since she's a medic-nin. 

"I can't understand how I got that word up on the show? I didn't put that on the list," said Naruto, slurping his Ramen. "Especially when it involves something copyrighted meant to insult me."

"I did," said Sasuke. "I didn't think they would use it. I wrote it on the top saying that it was from you. Maybe they didn't know that I always call you that in other fanfics..."

Sakura and Naruto gave a look at Sasuke.

* * *

**Today... **

Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, Shizune, Garu, Shirai and a man in a suit were in the meeting room.

"Ok, the agenda of this meeting is to settle a few legal, medical and financial issues we have. Currently, what we have are Garu and Shirai's claims over an unfair job, 2nd degree burns on Kotetsu because Naruto spilt hot coffee down his pants, the Kit Fox Crew suing us for negligence on defamation advice, resulting them from being banned by the Japanese Broadcasting Authority and Shizune's broken foot from tripping over a bag of onions."

"I just need you to pay for the x-ray," said Shizune.

"Anything else?" asked Hinata.

Sakura tossed out some files. "Here are the claims for my broken neck," said Sakura, pointing at the neck brace she's wearing. "And my bicycle...and my back for carrying those onions."

"So you were the one put the onions there?" asked Hinata.

"The _'Hokage'_ asked me to put it there."

Hinata gave a glare at Naruto.

Sasuke puts out two files. "I also got the bill for the camera and the shots for rabies. But I won't ask for the bill for my medical checkup because I feel guilty over the Japanese Broadcasting Authority issue."

"Drop the camera and we'll have a deal," said Naruto.

Sasuke takes the camera bill. "Sure."

"And the shots," adds Naruto.

"That's my final offer," said Sasuke, only to realize that Naruto has tricked him and Sakura has sent a death glare towards Sasuke. "...oh shit."

Garu held out three files. "In addition to our claims, we would like to add in harassment, trespass and property damage."

Naruto grinned and held out a video tape and puts it on the desk. "I'll see to your claims and I'll raise you with a video tape of you doing certain activities."

Garu and Shirai looked at each other. Shirai shakes his head. "I'm out," said Garu, slamming his files on the table.

Lee takes out a receipt. "I got a claim asking for 500 ryou for the Spandex I gave Naruto."

"There's also a complaint from the electricity company over fused wiring for the entire Hokage Building," said Naruto.

Lee takes his receipt back. "I'll withdraw my case and we'll call it even, Hokage-sama."

Hinata looked at the list of claims. "So, that leaves Kotetsu's hospital bill, the negligence claim, Shizune's toe, Sakura's medical bills and bicycle..."

Naruto points behind Sakura. "Look over there!"

Sakura forcefully turns her neck, only for it to hurt. "Owwww..."

"I thought she was faking it," meekly said Naruto, hoping to avoid a massive beating.

"Well, the good news is that we have a representative from the Leaf Insurance Agency here, so take it up with him," said Hinata, pointing at the man in the suit.

"Actually, I'm actually the receiver for the Leaf Insurance Agency. Leaf Insurance has been liquidated on Monday," said the suited guy.

Naruto was stunned at the news. Realizing that he has no choice, he sighed and takes out a checkbook and a pen. "Ok, how much do you want?"

* * *

**Meanwhile... **

Sai was working on his computer.

"That should do it for my Blog. Now, to check my Emails." Sai opens his emails and sees the list of mails he has received.

"Here's a good one." Sai begins typing a reply. "Yes, I am interested in enlarging my Pe...

**End of 09 **


	8. The Zahiro Kid

**Deleted scene from the previous chapter **

At the Inuzuka Household, Shino was fixing up a wall while Kiba walks to the wall with a hammer. At that moment, Kiba's cell phone rings.

"Hello? Ah, Hinata. How are you?"

Shino sees that Kiba's distract, so he snaps his fingers, wanting the hammer. Kiba passes the hammer to Shino, only for Shino to bash Kiba in the head with the hammer.

* * *

Meanwhile...Kakashi was in the Hokage's office with Naruto and Hinata. 

"I know it's a rush, but we have to go to Suna for some important meeting with Gaara, so I hope you can hold the fort here, Kakashi," said Hinata.

"Yeah. I'll handle everything," said Kakashi, putting his feet on Naruto's desk. "What about the kids?"

"We're taking the twins with us," said Naruto. "And Yuki is on a mission. So, the only issue left is our pet fox."

"Who's taking care of that?" asked Kakashi.

"Sasuke," answered Naruto. "I'm sure Chi won't mind taking care of Kit, since he's my pet fox. Kit won't mind eating off Yuri's hand."

Kakashi nods. "Ok. What about the Chunin exams?"

"Made a few calls. The Chunin exams won't start for a few weeks because the forms sent by the other villages were reduced to paper mesh when it rained in the offices at Kumogakure last week."

Kakashi gives a look at Naruto. "It rained in their office?"

"Why do you think they're called Hidden Cloud?"

* * *

**_From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... _**

**The Hokage Files **

_08: The Zahiro Kid. _

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

_**A/N:** I would like to thank FlashFire Freak for suggesting the name **'Zahiro'**. _

_**A/N 2:** Why I pick **NaruHina** and **SasuSaku**? Because the dark-haired guy always gets his red-haired girl (or in this case, pink). _

_**A/N 3:** Kakashi as a replacement Hokage? Well, it's bound to happen anyway... _

* * *

Thanks to the mysterious world of Fanfiction and the ability of cutting and editing, the Uzumaki family were able to reach Sunagakure within a few lines, for the benefit of the readers. 

**Sunagakure **

In the Kazekage's office.

"Ok, this is my problem. A few years ago, I had adopted this kid because after an incident with a group that must remain unnamed at this time, and old 'nemesis' of mine has returned," explained Gaara.

"Oh."

"So, I was wondering if you have a better seal to keep _'him'_ from going on a rampage and I don't want him to be an insomniac."

Naruto crossed his arms. "Well, my son is an expert on seals. He should be able to make a quick stopover in Suna when his mission is completed..."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Konoha. 

Kakashi, Shizune, Lee, Sasuke and Shikamaru were at Shizune's desk. The Genins, Garu and Shirai who were supposed to be on the E-Rank mission of painting the Hokage Building were simply having a coffee break outside the Hokage's window.

"Since Naruto and Hinata aren't around, all of us might have to pull a bit of extra weight around here to keep things running smoothly," said Kakashi.

"Especially Hinata," adds Shizune. "Without her, Naruto can only get work done at night."

At that moment, Izumo appeared wearing pink cleaning gloves and a toilet brush.

"Excuse me, but who's idea is it for me to clean the toilets?" asked Izumo.

Shizune takes out a list. "Well, according to this week's schedule, you're supposed to clean the toilets for the week."

* * *

**Uchiha** **Mansion**

Sakura, Sasuke and their young children returned home with a houseguest. The Uzumaki's pet fox named Kit on a leash followed by the youngest Uchiha, Yuri.

Sakura was fuming. "I don't know how Naruto convinced you to take care of his daughter's pet fox?"

"He's the Hokage. He can do it," calmly said Sasuke

"I'm surprise you took it well that his son is dating our eldest daughter."

"That's only because the son is not like the father..." mumbled Sasuke.

"Rai, could you go get some tea? I think your father needs some."

The elder Uchiha twin went to the kitchen as his twin brother; Chi followed Yuri into the garden with Kit.

"Mom!" yelled Chi. "Kit's pulling Yuri towards the..."

**SPLASH! **

Water from the pond splashed on the grass and Chi. Sakura looked at her husband.

"Any second thoughts on bringing Kit home?"

* * *

That night, at Suna. Naruto and Hinata were sleeping in one of the guest rooms at Gaara's home. 

Naruto couldn't sleep, so he decides to check his pockets and finds his froggy purse. Naruto opens it and finds a photo.

"Hinata-chan..." whispered Naruto.

Hinata woke up. Thinking that Naruto wanted some 'action' for the night. "Not here, Naruto-kun."

"It's not that." Naruto shows the photo to Hinata. "It's the picture of the twins. It's not a recent one, but I keep it so that I know that I have something worth protecting with Konoha and you."

Hinata sees the photo. "That's the ultrasound image of the twins. It came with the receipt...but that is so sweet of you, Naruto-kun."

"Well, I need to get the newest photo."

Hinata went back to sleep, but Naruto was still awake. Then, Naruto picks up his sandal and throws it at a wall...

"Would you girls stop trying to listen in our conversation?" said Naruto.

On the other side of the wall, the two twins deactivated their Byakugan.

"Damn. I was hoping dad wouldn't notice us," said the elder twin, Naruko.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Uchiha Compound... 

Naruto's pet fox was constantly yelping in the garden...

Sakura sat up on the bed. "Sasuke-kun. Either you go make that fox go to sleep or I'll put him to sleep for good."

"Fine." Sasuke got off the bed. "Where are my roller blades? I'll make that fox walk while I follow behind. It worked with the kids before."

* * *

If anyone in Konoha was looking outside of their windows at that time of the night, they would notice Sasuke taking Naruto's pet fox in a sleepwalk, or in this case, sleep-rollerblading. Sasuke was sleeping while standing up while the fox pulls Sasuke along the street with a leash. Sasuke wakes up for a bit to see his surroundings. 

"Meep!"

Sasuke had enough time to maneuver his roller blades to barely avoid knocking over a garbage bin.

* * *

Naruko was on the roof. It was a cool night, so Naruko was wearing her father's orange jacket over her orange PJs. 

"Can't sleep?" a voice asked.

"Zahiro?" Naruko looks up.

Zahiro sits next to Naruko. "I also find it hard to sleep. In fact, the best time for me to sleep is in a certain room at the Kazakage building. And every time I wake up, it gets trashed..."

"Really..." Naruko looked around. There's nothing else that can distract her as it is night time and she's in a village in a desert. Looks like Naruko has to listen to Zahiro's life story.

"I can't really remember much of my life before getting adopted by Gaara-sama..."

* * *

Back in Konoha, Sasuke and Kit were outside Shizune's apartment. Sasuke presses the doorbell. 

In Shizune's room, Shizune was sleeping with Tonton on her bed when the doorbell woke her up. Tonton jumps off the bed as Shizune checks the alarm clock for the time. "Who the hell would be out at this time of the night?" Shizune dropped her alarm clock and got up.

* * *

Shizune opens the door and sees Sasuke carrying the fox. "Sasuke? What are you doing up this late? It's 3 am." 

"Kit's keeping us awake, so you mind taking care of him? I would have asked either Neji or Lee, but knowing Neji, he would outright refuse and I don't feel like trusting Lee because it's that late."

Shizune scratched the back of her head. "Excuse me? But I have a pet pig in my house. I'm afraid that if I let Kit in, he'll eat Tonton."

"Don't worry. He'll eat of Tonton's paws," said the tired Uchiha.

Shizune sighed. "Alright, let him in."

Kit jumped off Sasuke's arms and ran into Shizune's apartment. Shizune suddenly hears Tonton's screams and glass breaking. "Tonton!"

"Damn," mumbled Sasuke.

* * *

"...but if it weren't for Gaara-sama and Haruka-sempai, I probably wouldn't be the person I am now." 

Naruko yawned.

Zahiro looked at his watch. "Well, it's getting late and I think I told enough of my life story for one night. I'll see you in the morning."

"Same for you," said Naruko. "I wonder how Kit is doing back in Konoha?"

* * *

**24 Hours Konoha Pharmacy **

The worker at the pharmacy sees a sleepy Sasuke. "Yes, can I help you?"

"I have a bit of insomnia. Could I have some sleeping pills?" asked Sasuke.

"I'll go see what we have."

As the shop worker looks for the sleeping pills, Sasuke begins to doze off, only to fall onto a card cabinet...and Sasuke quickly gets up, just in time for the worker to return with two different brands of sleeping pills.

"Which one do you want?" asked the worker.

"I'll take both. And can I have a bowl of water?"

* * *

Later, at the Uchiha Household, Sasuke returns home with a sleeping fox. 

Sasuke gets back onto his bed next to his sleeping wife and went back to sleep...only for Kit to start yelping again outside the Uchiha Household...

* * *

**A trip to Shizune's apartment later... **

Shizune's doorbell was ringing and Shizune makes a quick dash to the door. "Not again!"

Shizune's living room contains the Uchiha family, with Sakura and Sasuke taking a sofa and their sons taking the floor with some pillows and the youngest Uchiha girl taking an arm chair. Lucky for them that the eldest daughter is away on a mission. Shizune hugs Tonton as she watched the family sleep.

At the same time, at the Uchiha Household, Naruto's pet fox was sleeping in Sasuke and Sakura's bed.

* * *

The next day, in Suna, the two **ANBU**s have arrived at Kazekage building... 

Yuki and Setsuna meet up with Naruto at the entrance.

"We're here, Dad," said Yuki. "So, who's the person I'm suppose to work a seal on?"

"Gaara's adopted kid," said Naruto. "Having nightmares of giant scary sandy raccoons. Anyway, got the latest news from Konoha?" asked Naruto.

* * *

Back in Konoha. 

At Shizune's apartment, Shizune and Tonton have overslept as Shizune's alarm was broken...

While the Uchiha family continued sleeping in the living room.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at the ****Hokage** **Building**

In the Hokage's office, Kakashi presses the intercom button on the phone. "Ok, let him in."

Kakashi walks to the door and opens it to find an injured Izumo who appeared to have been mauled by a wild beast.

"How was your mission in finding the mysterious Yeti who stole my book?" asked Kakashi.

"I found the Yeti, but he did not steal your book," reported Izumo. "Can I go to the hospital now?"

"Not until you find my book."

Izumo faints due to his injuries.

"Wait a minute." Kakashi walks to Naruto desk and opened a drawer. "Well, what do you know? It was in here all along."

Kakashi takes out a copy of Icha Icha Paradise from Naruto's desk drawer and begins reading it. At that moment, Kakashi's daughter walks by the open door and sees the unconscious body. "Mom! Dad has sent someone out to find his book again!" yelled Nanaya.

* * *

**Final Scene **

**_Akatsuki Productions Present:_ The Dead Parrot Sketch **

Itachi was working in a pet shop when Kisame walks in with a live parrot in a cage.

"Excuse me, but I have a problem with this parrot you gave me," said Kisame.

"What's wrong with your parrot?" asked Itachi.

"It's dead!" Kisame shakes the cage, only to scare the parrot, as it tries to get out of the cage.

Itachi looks at the parrot. "Kisame, for the joke to work...you need a really dead parrot. Not one that you haven't gave to Zetsu."

"Give me a second," said Kisame, taking the parrot cage with him out of the shop.

* * *

Outside Itachi's pet shop, Kisame meets up with Zetsu, carrying the parrot in its cage. "Zetsu! I want a dead parrot, not a deceased-impaired one!" 

Zetsu takes the parrot cage. "I can handle that." Zetsu eats the parrot, cage and all.

**End of 08 **


	9. The Flashback Festival

Naruto was in his PJs, throwing around flower petals on his bed, followed by picking up some perfume and sprayed it around the room and himself. Then, he puts a CD into the CD player. Naruto walks into the bathroom and check the mirror to see if there's anything on his face.

"Let's see what I've got. Petals and perfumes from the Yamanaka's shop. One of Neji's CDs he used during his wedding night. _'Emergency'_ pills from Choji. Looks like I'm ready. Hope Ero-Sennin's tips work this time..."

Naruto hears the front door opened.

"I'm in the bedroom!"

Naruto press play on the CD player and waits for his wife by lying down on his bed.

At that moment, Kakashi walked into Naruto's bedroom carrying a toolbox. "Hey, Naruto. Hinata asked me to see if the toilet needs to be fixed. Didn't think someone would be home."

"Well, you're wrong, Kakashi-sensei," said a disappointed Naruto.

"Your toilet doesn't smell too good," said Kakashi as he gets to work on the toilet. "Smells like my wedding night."

As Kakashi begins working on fixing up the toilet, Hinata walks into her bedroom.

"I can't simply be the Hokage's Wife and Head Assistant in one place at the same time, dealing with bills, office staff, those two Genins and the structural plans for your head monument." Hinata sees some flower petals around the room. "What's all this mess?"

"I was trying to create a romantic atmosphere," explained Naruto as he sat on the bed. "I even borrowed one of Neji's CDs."

The sound of a plunger trying to clear up the toilet was heard instead of the CD player.

"Works for me," said Hinata.

"Evening, Hinata!" called out Kakashi from the bathroom.

"Kakashi-sensei," Hinata greeted back.

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings...

**The Hokage Files **

**_09: The Flashback Festival _**

_Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic. _

**A/N:** The only fanfic I know that has randomness and it still makes sense.

**A/N 2:** Ok, sense may be thrown out of the window in this fanfic, but I'm happy to know that this fanfic has been getting plenty of reviews.

**A/N 3:** This is the penultimate chapter **"The Hokage Files"**.

**A/N 4:** For those who are interested in why the fanfic series has it's title, it's because it's meant to be a parody of titles like _"The Princess Diaries"_, _"The X Files"_ and any show/movie that starts with a **"The"**. But it's a parody in title only.

**A/N 5:** Anyone spots the running jokes in this fanfic series and make a comment on it will be given the opportunity to beta-read the final chapter of the fanfic (when it's done).

**A/N 6:** No Author's Note necessary here.

**A/N 7:** Ok, 7 Author's Notes is a bit of an overkill. But if anyone sees a fanfic that has more than 7 A/Ns in a story (as long as it make sense and not a self-insert), please PM or email me the name of the fanfic and the author's pen name, regardless of the fanfic series.

**Naruto:** Please! Start the fanfic before one of us decides to kill the author!

* * *

Hinata and Naruto left their bedroom and went to the kitchen.

"I always wondered why you've become Hokage and still find the time to get yourself busy with other things?"

"Why do you think I delegate tasks to other people, like Konohamaru, Moegi and your sister? And not to mention, if there's a problem, I solve it. If we ran out of paperclips, order some from the office suppliers, and if Sasuke complains, threaten to demote him."

Hinata checked the fridge to find a large plate full of cinnamon rolls.

"Naruto-kun. Are these cinnamon rolls for me?"

"No," Naruto said, with the obvious hint of sarcasm. "It's for Kit! Hey, Kit! Got something for you!"

"Naruko's taken Kit with her for a mission," said Hinata. "What's the occasion?"

"It's for our anniversary," said Naruto.

Hinata looks at a calendar as she eats one of the cinnamon rolls. "Our anniversary isn't for 6 months."

"Our anniversary for not having sex for the past 6 months," explained Naruto as he sat at the kitchen table. "I did a lot of things to make this an unforgettable night, only to have it ruined by Kakashi-sensei and a blocked toilet."

"Oh, Naruto-kun." Hinata hugged her husband. "You put so much effort into doing this for me tonight. If everything tomorrow goes to plan and we have time, we will have a special night tomorrow night, deal?"

Naruto smiled.

* * *

_The next day, at the __Hokage_ _Building_

"If Granny Tsunade was dead and she finds out about this, she will be spinning in her grave! Miyabi! Take these thieves out of my building!"

"Yes, Naruto-sensei." Miyabi pulled Kotetsu and Izumo out of Naruto's office. Shizune walked in as the two ninjas were escorted away by the female Jonin in green.

"What just happened?" asked Shizune.

"30 years as assistants and they throw it all away by stealing my forehead protector!"

Shizune was confused. "Wa?"

"Earlier before I went for my Ramen, I left my forehead protector on my desk and those two were the last ones in my office. They denied it, but as **CSI** would say it, the evidence never lies."

Shizune sighed and took Naruto's forehead protector out of her Jonin vest pocket. "Ayame sent this in, saying that you left it there while you had some Ramen earlier."

Naruto realized his mistake as he takes his forehead protector back. "Oh." Naruto sees Kotetsu and Izumo carrying their stuff out. "Well, I never liked them anyway."

Neji walked into Naruto's office. "What's going on? I just saw Kotetsu and Izumo walking out, and was Izumo crying?"

Shizune points at Naruto. "Ask the **_'Maelstrom of Darkness'_** here."

Naruto sighed. "Ok. Maybe send them a basket of fruits with an apology. That should fix up the strained employer-employee relationship."

Shizune shakes her head as she walks out of the office.

"So, what brings you here, Neji? Don't you have a wife to take care of?"

Neji closed the door. "That's exactly why I'm here. Remember that I mentioned that we were expecting twins?"

Naruto nods. "And what does this have to do with me?"

Neji was in tears. It was definitely not tears of joy. "I've just learnt that it's now quadruplets!"

"I see." Naruto got up and pat Neji in the back. "There, there. I know how it feels. At least it explains Tenten's massive mood swings."

* * *

**Flashback: At Konoha Cafe... **

A pregnant Tenten was at a table reading a file when Naruto arrived.

"Hey Tenten."

Tenten look up and sees Naruto. "What is it now, Naruto?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that there's no place to sit at this cafe."

Tenten sees two empty tables behind Naruto. "What do you want, Naruto? I'm hot, sweaty and one of my babies' feet is on my bladder..."

"On your bladder, eh?" Naruto picks up a jug of water and pours it into a glass...the running water was causing Tenten some uneasiness. "Excuse me for a moment."

Tenten walks off...

**A minute later **

Naruto was putting his head on the table, looking into Tenten's glass.

"What are you doing, Hokage-sama?" asked Tenten.

"Errr...checking for Sea Monkeys," said Naruto as he looked at Tenten's glass. "Heard that a box of them fell into the river, so, better to be safe than sorry."

**End Flashback **

* * *

Hinata was working in her office when Naruto walks in.

"Hinata..."

"Tenten told me about the quads," said Hinata without looking up.

"Don't you feel sorry for Neji?" asked Naruto. At that moment, Naruto turned around and slammed the door at Kotetsu and Izumo's faces, the pair returning from their short-term lay-off/sacking/break/vacation. "I mean aren't you afraid that..."

At that moment, Nagi Hyuga entered Hinata's office with a stool. "Naruto-sensei. Hinata-sama. The furniture delivery mission with my team has been completed and the client has given us a stool as a gift."

"Put it on my desk," said Naruto. "Hey, Nagi...heard that you're going to have 4 more siblings to the family."

* * *

Naruto walked to the lobby of the Hokage building and sees the painting has been superficially completed. Naruto sighed. Those two Genins will be the death of him long before his ugly mug appears on the Hokage Mountain...

* * *

Naruto returned to his office with a copy of Icha Icha Paradise as Shizune puts a stack of work on Naruto's desk. Naruto's chair is missing, so Naruto decided to take the stool on his desk and sits on it. Shizune gives a strange look at she watch Naruto sit on the stool, the gift from a client being used in the way the client would expect it to be used.

"What?"

"Got a problem with the Chunin Exams. Missing documentation on new Genins has been found, so it's been postponed indefinitely until we finish the backlogging."

"Great! I was hoping for the Chunin exams to begin this week but now...tell Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, Kotetsu, Izumo and Hanabi that their leave has been postponed until next week."

"Usually, you seemed pleased that the Chunin Exams get postponed, but now you have an opposite reaction...why?"

Naruto looked around and whispered to Shizune. "Because I promised Gaara that if I don't get the Chunin Exams done by the end of the week, he has every right to kill me."

"You what?"

* * *

**Emergency Meeting **

Naruto, Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, Shizune and Shikamaru were in the meeting room.

"The Chunin exams are about to start and..."

A pager beeps and Neji checks it. "Oh no! The quads are coming out!"

"How big is she?" asked Shizune.

"6 centimeters!"

"That is short," commented Naruto.

Hinata opened a window. "Take the window. It's faster than the stairs."

"Thanks, Hinata-sama." Neji leaves the meeting room as he heads to the hospital, jumping from roof to roof...

**An hour later... **

Naruto was in a snack room of the Hokage building, as Naruto was about to use an oven to warm up a Cinnamon roll. He decides to make a call to Neji.

"Yo, _'Screwed Sun'_...this is the Sixth. You done yet?"

* * *

In the maternity room, Tenten was screaming as Neji was on the phone.

"Well, only the head of the first baby is out and it's going to take a while," explained Neji.

* * *

"Ok, Neji. Once you're done, head back to the building. We need someone of your level to help sort out a few documents." At that moment, Naruto receives another call. "Give me a second."

Naruto puts Neji on hold and answers the call. "Yes?"

* * *

Kakashi was in a room of the Uzumaki Household.

"Yo, Naruto. I've been locked in one of the rooms in your house. You got to get me out! I accidentally broke the lock and it can only be opened from the outside..."

* * *

Naruto sighed. "So there's where you've been all day..."

* * *

Back at the hospital, Tenten's labor screams was filling the room as Neji was placed on hold.

"Won't be long, love," assured Neji as Tenten continues to push...

Tenten screamed. "I hate..."

**A set of Quadruplets later... **

Back in the Uzumaki household, the Uzumaki's pet fox, Kit, was sleeping on Naruto and Hinata's bed. Suddenly, with its sixth sense, the fox jumped off the bed and Naruto bursts into the room and feels his bed. Naruto sees the small fox acting innocent in the corner of Naruto's room.

"One of these days, I will catch you, Kit," said Naruto.

Naruto hears a knock on his front door, so Naruto opens it to reveal a completely drunk Neji.

"Yo, friend! It's time for a great celebration."

"Man, Neji, I've never seen you so pissed since...well, that confusing double wedding with Shikamaru, Ino, Temari and Choji..."

* * *

**Superceded by a new Flashback Thingy with no specific timeline... **

It was an auspicious day for a wedding. The weather's perfect and at a garden perfect for any type of wedding, Naruto was named as the guy who has the power to marry people (to each other, obviously, not to him).

The groom and best man were waiting at the front with Naruto.

"Now, all we need to wait for are the bride and bridesmaid," said Naruto.

At that moment, the bride and bridesmaid arrived at the ceremony and stood with the groom and best man.

"Ok, do you, Temari, take Shikamaru as your lawfully wedded husband…" Naruto suddenly paused. He looks at Hinata sitting in the front row of the Groom's side. "Erm…line?"

"_'In sickness and in health, till death do us part'_," said Hinata.

"Yeah, what she said," said Naruto.

"Of course," said Temari.

"Great." Naruto looks at the groom. "Shikamaru, do you, take Temari as your awfully wedded wife, yada yada, et cetera, et cetera."

"Awfully?" asked Kiba, who was sitting behind Gaara and Kankuro.

Naruto looks at his lines. "Oh, that was a typo," said Naruto. "But you know. Shikamaru?"

"Yes," Shikamaru lazily answered.

Temari had the urge to hit him in the head with her fan. "Ahem."

"Yeah, yeah," said Shikamaru. "I do."

"Great. Now, if there is anyone who is against this couple joining together for this lifetime commitment or however long before the divorce, please speak now or forever…"

"Wait!" At that moment, Choji runs up the aisle.

Naruto notices something strange with the scene. "Hang on, aren't you the best man, Choji, standing next to Shikamaru?" asked Naurto.

"Flaw in the continuity," explained Choji. "But it won't matter since it's a Flashback. Temari! I never got the chance to say this but if I don't say it now, I might regret it forever." Choji got onto his knees. "Temari, I love you…"

Shikamaru was shocked. "What? You never said anything about that before this!"

Choji stood up. "That's because I thought I ate too much and I developed a heart problem at the time."

"But you decide to betray me now, fatso?"

At that moment, Choji's face became red. The **_'F'_**-word that offends him in such a way that he will kill his best friend.

The bridesmaid, Ino, steps in between the two friends. "Stop it, you two! Choji, I admire your courage, so now is the time for me to make my move." At that moment, Ino kisses Shikamaru in the lips.

"You b**(beep)**!" screamed Temari. Temari picks up her weapon and was about to smack Ino with her fan when Shikamaru suddenly used his Shadow Bind jutsu to hold Temari.

"Temari!" Choji was about to walk towards Shikamaru when Ino suddenly blocks Choji's path.

"If you're going to hurt my Shika-kun, then you're going to have to get through me first…"

Gaara and Kankuro would have stepped in to stop the fighting, but decided that it's best not to interfere with people in love.

Suddenly, a completely drunken Neji picked up a chair, ran down the aisle and smashed it on Shikamaru's back, disrupting Shikamaru's concentration, releasing Temari from the Shadow Bind.

"You backstabbing piece of...whatever you are!" yelled Neji. "How dare you betray Shikamaru's trust, Choji!"

"Wrong target, Hyuga!" yelled Shikamaru. _'Man...This is the worst drunk stunt by Hyuga...how troublesome.'_

"Shika-kun!" Ino was distracted, giving Choji the opportunity to make his move before Ino could use her technique on him...

"Baika no Jutsu!"

Choji decided to use his Expansion Jutsu and made a jump over Ino...

"Crap!" cursed Ino as she spots Choji above her. Ino was slammed under Choji's combined excessive mass and weight.

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. "That's it! Whatever vows made is null and void! There is no wed..."

"Wait!" said Temari. She looks at Choji. "After all this fighting, I now realized how much you truly loved me. Kiss me, Choji!"

As Choji and Temari kissed, Shikamaru made a quick recovery and helped Ino up. "Ino...now that I have seen it with my own eyes, my heart now belongs to you..." Shikamaru and Ino kissed.

Naruto smiled. "Alright, I think I will allow this...just that the bride and groom are not getting married to each other."

Meanwhile, from the seats, an unusually stoic Sasuke looked at Temari's siblings on the other chairs across the aisle.

"Well, that was an interesting wedding," said Sasuke.

**End new Flashback Thingy **

* * *

Naruto was helping Neji into the living room...

"The result of that wedding is that Temari now has two rings, Choji has a buffet for his wedding, Ino gets her true love and Shikamaru gets what he always wanted...which I now forgot," mumbled Naruto as the drunk Neji stumbles into the kitchen. _'Come to think of it, wasn't the Flashback about how drunk Neji got during that wedding, not how the wedding happened?'_

Naruto was about to watch TV when he had a strange feeling on the back of his mind. "Now why do I have the feeling that I've forgotten something."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Hokage Building, the oven warming up Naruto's Cinnamon Roll. Then, the Cinnamon roll has caught fire because Naruto forgot to switch off the oven before leaving to rescue Kakashi...

* * *

Hinata returns to the Uzumaki household and hugs her husband.

"So, Naruto-kun? Are you ready for some action tonight?" asked Hinata.

Naruto shakes his head and points at the kitchen, where the drunken Neji was holding a kettle.

"Hinata-sama? Want some coffee?" asked Neji.

Hinata looked at Naruto as he shrugs. "Errr...sure, Neji."

Neji takes the kettle and slams it into the microwave and pressed a button, followed by sparks flying from the microwave...

* * *

At the Hokage Building, Sakura and Ino were walking up a flight of stairs to the top floor, where Naruto's office is.

"Shikamaru's been so busy for the past few days, so it's nice of you to pay him a visit at his workplace."

"I know," said Ino. Ever since Naruto's finally getting this year's Chunin Exams started, everyone's busy getting Konoha ready."

"At least Naruto's doing his job this time," said Sakura, as she opened the door, only to see a large fire spreading from the snack room to the offices. Shikamaru and Shizune were using Fire Extinguishers to fight the fire.

"Some idiot forgot to take out his Cinnamon roll out of the oven!" explained Shikamaru.

There goes the next budget for Naruto's head on the monument…

* * *

**The Next Day **

Naruto was in a burnt out office making an all important phone call that will determine his life or death. Naruto makes a direct line call to the Kazekage...

* * *

In Suna, Gaara answers Naruto's call. "Oh, Naruto, I was just about to call you. You will not believe what happened yesterday..."

* * *

**Gaara's Flashback **

Gaara called Kankuro to his office. "Kankuro, there's news of powerful sandstorm coming this way. So, I want you to make sure you can secure everything before it hits."

"Don't worry, Gaara," said Kankuro. "I'll make sure everything will be secure before you can even crush anyone with your Sand Coffin Technique..."

**A Minute Later... **

The roof of the Kazakage building was ripped off by the fierce tornado within the sandstorm...

**Another Minute Later **

Kankuro and Gaara climbed out of a pile of sand in the office

"Ok, so maybe the sandstorm hit us before you can even crush anyone with your Sand Coffin Technique..."

Gaara sends a death glare at Kankuro, sending the message _'Keep your mouth shut or you'll be in a Sand Coffin yourself.'_

**End Flashback **

* * *

"Yeah, so it might take us a while to clean out the massive amounts of sand from our offices and search for any lost documents during the storm," explained Gaara as he carefully maneuvers large amounts of sand out of his personal office space.

"So, could you postpone the Chunin exams for at least another week?" asked Gaara.

* * *

**Final Scene: That Night **

Hinata was reading in bed while Naruto walked out of the bathroom in his PJs. He walked to his side of the bed and tossed away a couple of pillows and lay next to his wife, giving her a seductive look. Hinata looked at her husband.

"Sorry, Naruto-kun. Not tonight. I am trying to finish reading the new Harry Potter book so that I can return it to Hanabi."

Naruto's expression changed from a foxy grin to a disappointed look...

**End of 09 **

**A/N 8**: Ok, I lied about having 7 author's notes. Anyway, one more chapter before the finale of Series 1 of **The Hokage Files**, for those who do not know what _penultimate_ means.


	10. The Finale

**A Message from the Main Character of The Hokage Files... **

Naruto was in his office.

"Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. You may remember me from the last 9 chapters of this fanfic. The Author, PikaFlash, has somehow gotten into our secret stash of sugar and ended up in a sugar rush, distorting the time-space continuum of this fanfic. The only other things that can do the same thing to this fanfic are Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan, Orochimaru's Evil, Ero-Sennin's pervertness and any major battle that happened in Dragon Ball Z _(where else can you put a 5 minute time limit in five half-hour episodes?)_."

Then, Naruto remembered something else. "Oh and a warning to kids: Always look both ways for cars before crossing the street."

* * *

**The Fanfic begins... **

As the Genins known as Aburame and Inuzuka continued their painting, a silver-haired female Jonin wearing a mask was sitting around the Hokage Building lobby, reading a particular book when Jiraiya walked in and sat next to the woman.

"Yo...I haven't been around for quite some time because of my 'research' in the other countries, not to mention that I was arrested at Sand because of _'mistaken identity'_. So I was wondering if you could give me an update on everything around the village." Jiraiya asked. "Maybe I could make it..."

"If you're thinking of doing something perverted to me," said the woman, without looking up from her book. "I'll rip out your manhood faster than you can say _'Icha Icha Paradise'_."

Jiraiya decided not to do what he had originally intended. "So...what do you want?"

Nanaya "Aoi" Hatake looked up from reading her father's favorite book. "The usual. I'll beta-read your latest draft and you'll get the much needed information you want."

Jiraiya looks around. "But are you sure it's a good idea to use the Hokage's Building Lobby as a meeting place?'

"Dad prefers to enter the building through the window rather than the main entrance, so we'll be fine here," said Aoi as she flips a page. "And the Hokage and his wife are at Ichiraku's at this time of the day."

Jiraiya takes out the draft and hands it to Aoi. "It's a work in progress."

"That's alright," said Aoi as she takes out a yellow envelope. "Here's what you need to know..."

* * *

From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings... 

**The Hokage Files **

_10: The Finale _

Updated Disclaimer: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, songs, stunts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.

**_Personalized Disclaimer since everyone else does this for a particular fanfic series:_** _(The Author)_ owns Naruto as much as _(owning)_ a _(Solid Gold Spaceship fueled by burning banknotes)._ Well, that was a bit excessive.

**A/N:** Just a bit of Cross Promotion and plugging, but if you love reading the **"Hokage Files"** for its humor, then, you would love to read the **"Naruto News Show"**, as I've started a second season of the series. Just go to my Profile and you will easily find the story.

**A/N 2:** A sort of sequel is currently in the works

* * *

Naruto and Hinata were having the usual lunch break at Ichiraku's Ramen when Jiraiya decided to crash the feeling in the area... 

"What? How could you say that?" screamed Naruto. "Do you know how many strings I pulled just to get you out of Suna prison?"

"But if it weren't for me, I wouldn't have gotten you your..." As Jiraiya argues with Naruto, Hinata spots a photo in Jiraiya's pocket. Hinata quickly takes it and looks at it.

"Jiraiya-sama! This is a picture of me with Naruto-kun at the hot springs last week!" Hinata grabbed Jiraiya by his collar. "Where the hell did you get this?" asked Hinata.

Jiraiya is in a very dangerous position. If he tells the truth, he'll get the receiving end of Hinata's Gentle Fist and he'll lose his favorite source of information. If he lies, Hinata won't believe him and will still beat the crap out of Jiraiya, especially since he's in possession in a photo of Naruto and Hinata's personal life from an awkward angle.

"Listen, let me explain, I found it on the street..."

**A Few Minutes Later **

Naruto sits at his desk when Shizune walks in with the usual stack of documents for the day's work.

"Naruto, got some new missions for you to hand out." Shizune puts a stack of documents on Naruto's desk. "Where's Hinata?"

"Taking Ero-Sennin to the hospital. She wants him to recover so that she can beat the crap out of him again," said Naruto.

Shizune takes out a sheet of paper. "Don't forget that you have to do a speech at the art gallery tomorrow."

"Oh yeah. For Tim Kakami's new artwork," said Naruto. "That one really did cause some controversy, considering that I personally agreed to have it hosted at Konoha's Art Gallery."

"Not to mention several death threats from the Digimon community, hoping that you'll _'rot in hell'_," Shizune added.

"Well, I keep telling them, it's about the art, not the Anime," explained Naruto. "Besides, whatever happened to freedom of speech?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure you'll like to limit the amount of speeches because you've got to do a speech at the unveiling."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get to it," said Naruto. "But that's not the worst thing. I got invited to watch a Kabuki show called 'Kabuki Pika, the Yellow Kabuki' with the director of the gallery."

At that moment, Shizune takes out a measuring tape and begins to take measurements of Naruto's waist. "What are you doing, Shizune?"

"Just checking to make sure that your formal robe still fits you," Shizune answered as she writes down the measurements on a notepad.

* * *

Shizune's explanation: "Usually, when people who eat food, their stomachs digest the food and the food becomes fat. Unless you live an active lifestyle, that fat will gradually increase and will make you..." 

Shizune looks around, and then she whispered, "Morbidly obese."

Shizune resumes her explanation. "Anyway, in Naruto's case, because he's a very active ninja, that fat becomes muscles. And muscles are heavier and tends to be larger than fat, so, one might expect Naruto to be extremely muscular, until some of his clothes can't fit him anymore."

* * *

Back to reality, Garu has finished off the final wall to be painted and he sees the Hokage walking around the corridor. 

"Naruto-sama! It's been two months since we've started and now the painting has been completed. If you would have the honors of painting the last spot green?" Garu handed a paintbrush to Naruto. Naruto takes the brush and lands a line of Green paint on Garu's face.

"What the hell! Only Inuzuka Clan War Paint can go on my face!" screamed Garu.

"That's what you get for wasting my time and budget on your painting," said Naruto, before walking back into his office with the paint brush still in his hand.

The blinded Inuzuka kid slowly stumbles towards an open window...

* * *

Later, at the Uzumaki Household 

In Naruto and Hinata's room, the family's pet fox was grooming herself (Yes, the fox is female) as Hinata puts on some makeup while Naruto was picking out which Forehead Protector to use for the occasion.

"But why us? I mean, not wanting to jinx it, but I don't think Neji would fine with us being the godparents for the quads," said Naruto as he tries to tie the forehead protector around his arm.

"Would you rather have Lee as the godparent?" asked Hinata.

At that moment, an army of Hyuga kids wearing green bodysuits entering Naruto's mind. "Ok, good point."

Hinata smiled and walked up to her husband in the bathroom. "I knew under that hard Hokage exterior hides a whipped bag if jelly."

Naruto was about to kiss Hinata when Hinata stopped him. "No, you'll end up getting some of my make-up."

Naruto was trying to tie a forehead protector with the Konoha symbol around his arm. "I don't know how Shikamaru does his, but I say that it takes a genius to make one as perfect as his."

"Have you done your speech for the opening tomorrow?" asked Hinata.

"Errr...I'm working on it," said Naruto. "...believe it. Besides, I think I can make some parts of it along the way. After all, as a Hokage, I should be quick on my feet..."

Hinata tries to hide her laughter. Naruto decided to give up on tying his forehead protector around his arm. "Maybe I should get one of those clip-on and wrap a cloth around my arm."

* * *

**Kabuki Pika, the Yellow Kabuki **

A Pikachu dressed as a Kabuki, complete with white face paint, but leaving its cheek-sacs red. The Pikachu sings on stage in its traditional 'tongue'.

"Pika...pika...pikachuuuuuu. Pi...kaaaaaaaaa...pi...chu."

In the audience, Naruto and Hinata were watching the Kabuki play. Unfortunately, Naruto's clip-on forehead protector fell off its cloth. Naruto tries to use his hands to search for the clip-on without looking down, because he didn't want to look like he was doing something else to distract him from the boring play. But it's not easy searching for a pair of clip-ons while you can't even look for it. But luckily, Hinata, with her ever useful and powerful Byakugan, easily found the clip-on and handed it back to her husband, just to keep him from fidgeting.

With a silent thanks, Naruto takes the clip-on and clipped it back to the cloth, making it look like a regular Konoha forehead protector. Unfortunately, the clip-on fell off one more time, so Naruto decided that maybe he'll put it back on later and continue watching Kabuki Pika...

"Pi...ka...chuuuuuuuu," finished Kabuki Pika.

* * *

**The Next Day, ****Konoha** **Art** **Gallery**

Konohamaru was serving finger food as Naruto and Hinata stood with the crowd, about to watch the unveiling of Tim Kakami's _'Bloody Digimon'_.

"What are you doing here?" asked Hinata.

"Tsunade and Naruto forced me to be here because I defaced the old lady's face on the mountain and the spot where Naruto's face is supposed to be," explained Konohamaru. "They said that as punishment, I should be here so that I will see firsthand on what a Hokage has to do."

The director of the art gallery starts off his introduction. "Many of you who appreciate art have come to witness the unveiling of Tim Kakami's new art piece. And if it weren't for the Hokage, we wouldn't be able to view it. So, we ask the Hokage to come up here."

Naruto walked to the podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen...I never thought I say this, but one must never judge a book by its cover...let along one that is done by someone who has a respectable...reputation in the Japanese Art Community like Tim Kakami. After all, I allowed this artwork to be seen in this art gallery because...it's art." 'I think maybe I should slip in a joke,' thought Naruto. "Is it art or is it pornography? Well, with all I know, the Mona Lisa is art..."

Naruto pauses. Apparently, no one is laughing at that joke. "Anyway, I bring you, Tim Kakami's _'Bloody Digimon'_!"

Naruto unveils the art from behind the curtain, revealing a painting of a crucified Digimon with words sprayed painted on the picture, **_'This is Shit!'_**

As Hinata read the spray painted words, Hinata smacks Konohamaru on the back of the head. "You ungrateful little bastard!"

"No, Hinata, it's actually meant to be there," explained Naruto.

Hinata was embarrassed by the mistake she made. "Oh."

* * *

Naruto, Hinata, Lee, Sasuke, Kakashi, Neji, Shizune, Kotetsu and Izumo were inside the lift moving up to the top floor of the Hokage building. 

"Well, I think it's safe to say that all's well," said Naruto.

"But I'm really sorry for hitting Konohamaru earlier," apologized Hinata.

"That's ok. Everybody thinks that it was vandalized. Most people who haven't seen the art would think that it's been vandalized," said Naruto. "Anyway, I sure would love to go for some Ramen right now..."

None of the other occupants of the elevator said anything.

"...believe it," adds Naruto.

Suddenly, the power in the lift blacked out.

"Alright, everyone start following me!" yelled Naruto in the darkness.

* * *

**Final Scene **

Suddenly, Naruto woke up screamed. He was sleeping in his office, using a stack of documents as a pillow. He looked around. A worried Hinata walked into the office while a few random Jonins and Chunins appeared at the door.

"What happened, Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata.

"I had a dream that I was in this fanfic where reality has been altered."

"Oh."

Naruto sat back on his seat. "I'll just get back to work..."

**End of The Hokage Files **

**

* * *

**

**Special Feature: Naruto and Hinata's Commentary on the Scene Two - Ichiraku's Ramen**

**Naruto:** Ichiraku's Ramen. No where else in the world would make the greatest tasting Ramen ever.

**Hinata: **And not to mention having it with your husband during lunchtime.

**Naruto: **Although the mood was ruined by that Ero-Sennin. But I was impressed on the way you took it when you found out he had a picture of us at the hot springs.

**Hinata: **Though it's a pity that the author decided not to show me beating up Jiraiya. But then again, who would like to see a Sannin get beaten up by a woman since most other fanfics would do that with a better result.

**Naruto: **I could say the same for stealing that Plasma TV set from TVTokyo as compensation for those damn fillers.

**Hinata: **Which Plasma TV set?

**Naruto: **The one from Episode 202.

* * *

Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo wanted to know the names and genders of the Hyuga quads. I decided to place the list of the character's children names, their genders, age and current Ninja rank (if applicable) in this fanfic series. 

**Naruto and Hinata**:  
Yuki (Male/19/Jonin)  
Naruko (Female/12/Genin) (Elder Twin)  
Hikari (Female/12/Genin) (Younger Twin)

**Sasuke and Sakura**:  
Setsuna (Female/19/Jonin)  
Raikoumaru (Nickname:Rai) (Elder Twin/12/Genin)  
Chidori (Nickname: Chi) (Younger Twin/12/Genin)  
Yuri (Female/8)

**Neji and Tenten**:  
Nagi (Male/20/Jonin)  
_The Hyuga Quads (Note: Tenten picked the girls names while Neji picked the boys names, obviously)  
_Akiko (Female)  
Sachi (Female)  
Hizashi (Male)  
Hiashi (Male)

**Lee**:  
Miyabi (Female/21/Jonin)

**Shikamaru and Ino**:  
Shikami (Female/13/Genin)  
Inoryou (Male/12/Genin)

**Choji and Temari**:  
Haruka (Female/20/Jonin)  
Chohi (Male/12/Genin)

**Kiba**:  
Garu (Male/12/Genin)

**Shino**:  
Shirai (Male/12/Genin)

**Kakashi** (Note: The identity of Kakashi's wife is reserved for another fanfic):  
Nanaya/Aoi (Female/24/Jonin)

**Gaara**:  
Zahiro (Male/12/Genin) (Adopted)


End file.
